MDCXL.--A YOKSHIRE BULL. A YORKSHIRE clergyman, preaching for the Blind Asylum, began by gravely remarking: "If all the world were blind, what a melancholy _sight_ it would be!" MDCXLI.--A ONE-SIDED JOKE. A LADY requested her husband's permission to wear _rouge_. "I can give you permission, my dear," he replied, "only for _one_ cheek." MDCXLII.--TWO CURES FOR AGUE. BISHOP BLOMFIELD, when presiding over the diocese of London, had occasion to call the attention of the Essex incumbents to the necessity of residing in their parishes; and he reminded them that curates were, after all, of the same flesh and blood as rectors, and that the residence which was possible for the one, could not be quite impossible for the other. "Besides," added he, "there are two well-known preservatives against ague; the one is, a _good deal of care_ and a _little port wine_; the other, a _little care_ and a _good deal of port wine_. I prefer the former; but if any of the clergy prefer the _latter_, it is at all events a remedy which _incumbents_ can afford better than _curates_." MDCXLIII.--A QUESTION OF DESCENT. A YORKSHIRE nobleman, who was fond of boasting of his Norman descent, said to one of his tenants, whom he thought was not addressing him with proper respect: "Do you know, fellow, that my ancestors came over with William the Conqueror?"--"And, perhaps," retorted the sturdy Saxon, "they _found mine here_ when they comed." MDCXLIV.--PLEASANT FOR A FATHER. A LAIRD'S eldest son was rather a simpleton. Laird says, "I am going to send the young laird abroad."--"What for?" asks the tenant. Laird answered, "To see the world." Tenant replied, "But lordsake, laird, will no the world see _him_?" MDCXLV.--A RULE OF PRACTICE. IT was said of a Bath physician, that he could not prescribe even for himself without a _fee_, and therefore, when unwell, he took a guinea out of one pocket and put it _into the other_. MDCXLVI.--WITS AGREEING. WHEN Foote was one day lamenting his growing old, a _pert_ young fellow asked him what he would give to be as _young_ as he. "I would be content," cried Foote, "to be as _foolish_." Jerrold made a similar reply to an empty-headed fellow who boasted of never being seasick. "Never!" said Douglas; "then I'd almost have your head with your stomach." MDCXLVII.--LITERARY PASTIME. ONCE a gentleman, who had the marvellous gift of shaping a great many things out of orange-peel, was displaying his abilities at a dinner-party before Theodore Hook and Mr. Thomas Hill, and succeeded in counterfeiting a pig. Mr. Hill tried the same feat; and, after destroying and strewing the table with the peel of a dozen oranges, gave it up, with the exclamation, "Hang the pig! I _can't_ make him."--"Nay, Hill," exclaimed Hook, glancing at the mess on the table, "you have done more; instead of one pig, you have made a _litter_." MDCXLVIII.--A FREE TRANSLATION.