IN making love let poor men sigh, But love that's ready-made is better For men of business;--so I, If madam will be cruel, let her. But should she wish that I should wait And miss the 'Change,--oh no, I thank her, I court by _deed_, or after _date_, Through my solicitor or banker. CLXV.--INGENIOUS REPLY OF A SOLDIER. A SOLDIER in the army of the Duke of Marlborough took the name of that general, who reprimanded him for it. "How am I to blame, general?" said the soldier. "I have the choice of names; if I had known one more illustrious _than yours_, I should have taken it." CLXVI.--LORD CHESTERFIELD. WHEN Lord Chesterfield was in administration, he proposed a person to his late majesty as proper to fill a place of great trust, but which the king himself was determined should be filled by another. The council, however, resolved not to indulge the king, for fear of a dangerous precedent, and it was Lord Chesterfield's business to present the grant of office for the king's signature. Not to incense his majesty by asking him abruptly, he, with accents of great humility, begged to know with whose name his majesty would be pleased to have the blanks filled up. "With the _devil's_!" replied the king, in a paroxysm of rage. "And shall the instrument," said the Earl, coolly, "run as usual, _Our trusty and well-beloved cousin and counsellor_?"--a repartee at which the king laughed heartily, and with great good-humor signed the grant. CLXVII.--SPECIAL PLEADING. WHEN a very eminent special pleader was asked by a country gentleman if he considered that his son was likely to succeed as a special pleader, he replied, "Pray, sir, can your son _eat saw-dust without butter_?" CLXVIII.--ON A NEW DUKE. ASK you why gold and velvet bind The temples of that cringing thief? Is it so strange a thing to find A toad beneath a strawberry leaf? CLXIX.--THE ZODIAC CLUB. ON the occasion of starting a convivial club, somebody proposed that it should consist of twelve members, and be called "The Zodiac," each member to be named after a sign. "And what shall I be?" inquired a somewhat solemn man, who was afraid that his name would be forgotten. _Jerrold._--"Oh, we'll bring you in as the _weight_ in Libra." CLXX.--QUIN'S SOLILOQUY ON SEEING THE EMBALMED BODY OF DUKE HUMPHREY, AT ST. ALBAN'S. "A PLAGUE on Egypt's arts, I say-- Embalm the dead--on senseless clay Rich wine and spices waste: Like sturgeon, or like brawn, shall I, Bound in a precious pickle lie, Which I can never taste! Let me embalm this flesh of mine, With turtle fat, and Bourdeaux wine, And spoil the Egyptian trade, Than Glo'ster's Duke, more happy I, Embalm'd alive, old Quin shall lie A mummy ready made." CLXXI.--STRIKING REPROOF.