AN old woman received a letter, and, supposing it to be from one of her absent sons, she called on a person near to read it to her. He accordingly began and read, "Charleston, June 23, 1859. Dear mother," then making a stop to find out what followed (as the writing was rather bad), the old lady exclaimed, "_Oh, 'tis my poor Jerry; he always stuttered_!" CCLXIX.--A GUIDE TO GOVERNMENT SITUATIONS. DR. HENNIKER, being engaged in private conversation with the great Earl of Chatham, his lordship asked him how he defined wit. "My lord," said the doctor, "wit is like what a pension would be, given by your lordship to your humble servant, _a good thing well applied_." CCLXX.--NATURAL TRANSMUTATION. THE house of Mr. Dundas, late President of the Court of Session in Scotland, having after his death been converted into a blacksmith's shop, a gentleman wrote upon its door the following impromptu:-- "The house a lawyer once enjoy'd, Now to a smith doth pass; How naturally the _iron age_ Succeeds the _age of brass_!" CCLXXI.--CRITICS. LORD BACON, speaking of commentators, critics, &c., said, "With all their pretensions, they were only _brushers_ of noblemen's clothes." CCLXXII.--QUESTION AND ANSWER. A QUAKER was examined before the Board of Excise, respecting certain duties; the commissioners thinking themselves disrespectfully treated by his _theeing_ and _thouing_, one of them with a stern countenance asked him, "Pray, sir, do you know what _we sit here for_?"--"Yea," replied Nathan, "I do; some of thee for a thousand, and others for seventeen hundred and fifty pounds a year." CCLXXIII.--A TRUE JOKE. A MAN having been capitally convicted at the Old Bailey, was, as usual, asked what he had to say why judgment of death should not pass against him? "Say!" replied he, "why, I think the joke has been carried far enough already, and the less that is said about it the better: if you please, my lord, _we'll drop the subject_." CCLXXIV.--THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE. A JUDGE asked a man what age he was. "I am eight and fourscore, my lord," says he. "And why not fourscore and eight?" says the judge. "Because," replied he, "I was _eight_ before I was fourscore." CCLXXV.--A CITY VARNISH. IT being remarked of a picture of "The Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen," in the Shakespeare Gallery, that the varnish was chilled and the figures rather sunk, the proprietors directed one of their assistants to give it a fresh coat of varnish. "Must I use copal or mastic?" said the young man. "Neither one nor the other," said a gentleman present; "if you wish to _bring the figures out_, varnish it with _turtle soup_." CCLXXVI.--A RUB AT A RASCAL.