IT was the habit of Lord Eldon, when Attorney-General, to close his speeches with some remarks justifying his own character. At the trial of Horne Tooke, speaking of his own reputation, he said: "It is the little inheritance I have to leave my children, and, by God's help, I will leave it unimpaired." Here he shed tears; and, to the astonishment of those present, Mitford, the Solicitor-General, began to weep. "Just look at Mitford," said a by-stander to Horne Tooke; "what on earth is he crying for?" Tooke replied, "He is crying to think what a _small_ inheritance Eldon's children are likely to get." XIII.--A DIFFERENCE. JERROLD one day met a Scotch gentleman, whose name was Leitch, and who explained that he was not the popular caricaturist, John Leech. "I'm aware of that; you're the Scotchman with the _i-t-c-h_ in your name," said Jerrold. XIV.--THE LIGHT SUBJECT. THE government, having threatened to proceed rigorously against those who refused to pay the assessed taxes, offered to them a remission of _one fourth_. "This at least," said a sufferer, "may be called, giving them some _quarter_." XV.--COMPLIMENTARY. LORD NORTH, who was very corpulent before a severe sickness, said to his physician after it, "Sir, I am obliged to you for introducing me to some old acquaintances."--"Who are they, my lord?"--"_My ribs_," replied his lordship, "which I have not felt for many years until now." XVI.--A FAIR SUBSTITUTE. WHEN Lord Sandwich was to present Admiral Campbell, he told him, that probably the king would knight him. The admiral did not much relish the honor. "Well, but," said Lord S., "perhaps Mrs. Campbell will like it."--"Then let the king _knight her_," answered the rough seaman. XVII.--A CONSTITUTIONAL PUN. DANIEL PURCELL, the famous punster, was desired to make a pun extempore. "Upon what subject?" said Daniel. "The king," answered the other. "O, sir," said he, "the _king_ is no _subject_." XVIII.--A CONVERT. A NOTORIOUS miser having heard a very eloquent charity sermon, exclaimed, "This sermon strongly proves the necessity of alms. I have almost a mind to turn _beggar_." XIX.--INCREDIBLE. SHERIDAN made his appearance one day in a pair of new boots; these attracting the notice of some of his friends, "Now guess," said he, "how I came by these boots?" Many _probable_ guesses then took place. "No!" said Sheridan, "no, you've not hit it, nor ever will,--I bought them, and paid for them!" XX.--ALL THE DIFFERENCE. IN a large party, one evening, the conversation turned upon young men's allowance at college. Tom Sheridan lamented the ill-judging parsimony of many parents in that respect. "I am sure, Tom," said his father, "you need not complain; I always allowed you eight hundred a year."--"Yes, father, I must confess you _allowed_ it; but then it was never paid." XXI.--SPIRITUAL AND SPIRITUOUS.