AN Irish fire-eater, previous to a trial in which he was the defendant, was informed by his counsel, that if there were any of the jury to whom he objected, he might legally _challenge_ them. "Faith, and so I will," replied he; "if they do not acquit me I will _challenge_ every man of them." CDXCIX.--WALPOLIANA. WHEN Mr. Naylor's father married his second wife, Naylor said, "Father, they say you are to be married to-day; are you?"--"Well," replied the Bishop, "and what is that to you?"--"Nay, nothing; only if you had told me, I would have _powdered_ my hair." A tutor at Cambridge had been examining some lads in Latin; but in a little while excused himself, and said he must speak English, for his mouth was _very sore_. After going out of the Commons, and fighting a duel with Mr. Chetwynd, whom he wounded, "my uncle" (says Walpole) "returned to the House, and was so little moved as to speak immediately upon the _cambric bill_;" which made Swinny say, that "it was a sign he was not _ruffled_." D.--MINDING HIS BUSINESS. MURPHY was asked how it was so difficult to waken him in the morning: "Indeed, master, it's because of taking your own advice, always to attind to what I'm about; so whenever I _sleeps_, I pays _attintion_ to it." DI.--PENCE TABLE. A SCHOOLBOY going into the village without leave, his master called after him, "Where are you going, sir?"--"I am going to buy a ha'porth of nails."--"What do you want a ha'porth of nails for?"--"For a _halfpenny_," replied the urchin. DII.--SATISFACTION. LORD WILLIAM POULAT was said to be the author of a pamphlet called "The Snake in the Grass." A gentleman abused in it sent him a challenge. Lord William protested his innocence, but the gentleman insisted upon a denial under his own hand. Lord William took a pen and began: "This is to scratify that the buk called 'The Snak'"--"Oh! my Lord," said the person, "I am satisfied; your Lordship has already convinced me _you did not_ write the book." DIII.--A SAFE APPEAL. A PHYSICIAN once defended himself from raillery by saying, "I defy any person whom I ever attended, to accuse me of ignorance or neglect."--"That you may do safely," replied an auditor, "for you know, doctor, _dead_ men tell no tales." DIV.--A CAUTIOUS LOVER. "WHEN I courted her," said Spreadweasel, "I took lawyer's advice, and signed every letter to my love,--'Yours, without prejudice!'"--D.J. DV.--THE SWORD AND THE SCABBARD. A WAG, on seeing his friend with something under his cloak, asked him what it was. "A poniard," answered he; but he observed that it was a bottle: taking it from him, and drinking the contents, he returned it, saying, "There, I give you the _scabbard_ back again." DVI.--TOUCHING.