WHEN Lord Eldon resigned the Great Seal, a small barrister said, "To me his loss is irreparable. Lord Eldon always behaved to me like _a father_."--"Yes," remarked Brougham, "I understand he always treated you like _a child_." DVII.--THE COLLEGE BELL! AT a party of college grandees, one of the big-wigs proposed that each gentleman should toast his favorite _Belle_. When it came to the turn of Dr. Barrett (who happened to be one of the _quorum_) to be called on for the name of the fair object of his admiration, he very facetiously gave, "The College Bell!" _Vivat Collegium Sancti Petri_! DVIII.--FRENCH LANGUAGE. WHEN some one was expatiating on the merits of the French language to Mr. Canning, he exclaimed: "Why, what on earth, sir, can be expected of a language which has but one word for _liking_ and _loving_, and puts a fine woman and a leg of mutton on a par:--_J'aime Julie; J'aime un gigot_!" DIX.--EPIGRAM. (On the alleged disinterestedness of a certain Prelate.) HE says he don't think of himself, And I'm to believe him inclined; For by the confession, the elf Admits that he's _out_ of his _mind_. DX.--CERTAINLY NOT ASLEEP. A COUNTRY schoolmaster had two pupils, to one of whom he was partial, and to the other severe. One morning it happened that these two boys were late, and were called up to account for it. "You must have heard the bell, boys; why did you not come?"--"Please, sir," said the favorite, "I was dreaming that I was going to Margate, and I thought the school-bell was the steamboat-bell."--"Very well," said the master, glad of any pretext to excuse his favorite. "And now, sir," turning to the other, "what have you to say?"--"Please, sir," said the puzzled boy, "_I--I--was waiting to see Tom off_!" DXI.--ANTICIPATION. LORD AVONDALE, Chief Baron of the Exchequer, was much given to anticipation. A lawyer once observed in his presence, "Coming through the market just now I saw a butcher, with his knife, going to kill a calf; at that moment a child ran across him, and he killed ----" "O, my goodness!--he killed _the child_!" exclaimed his lordship. "No, my lord, _the calf_; but you will always anticipate." DXII.--THE BEST JUDGE. A LADY said to her husband, in Jerrold's presence:-- "My dear, you certainly want some new trousers."--"No, I think not," replied the husband. "Well," Jerrold interposed, "I think the lady who always wears them ought to know." DXIII.--THE RIVALS.