A GOOD story of Gibbon is told in the last volume of Moore's Memoirs. The _dramatis personae_ were Lady Elizabeth Foster, Gibbon the historian, and an eminent French physician,--the historian and doctor being rivals in courting the lady's favor. Impatient at Gibbon's occupying so much of her attention by his conversation, the doctor said crossly to him, "_Quand milady Elizabeth Foster sera malade de vos fadaises, je la guerirai_." [When my Lady Elizabeth Foster is made ill by your twaddle, I will cure her.] On which Gibbon, drawing himself up grandly, and looking disdainfully at the physician, replied, "_Quand milady Elizabeth Foster sera morte de vos recettes, je l'im-mor-taliserai_." [When my Lady Elizabeth Foster is dead from your recipes I will immortalize her.] DXIV.--DEAD LANGUAGE. AMONG the many English who visited Paris in 1815 was Alderman Wood, who had previously filled the office of Lord Mayor of London. He ordered a hundred visiting cards, inscribing upon them. "Alderman Wood, _feu Lord Maire de Londres_," which he distributed amongst people of rank, having translated the word "late" into "_feu_," which we need hardly state means "dead." DXV.--WALPOLIANA. SIR JOHN GERMAIN was so ignorant, that he is said to have left a legacy to Sir Matthew Decker, as the _author_ of St. Matthew's Gospel. Churchill (General C----, a natural son of the Marlborough family) asked Pulteney the other day, "Well, Mr. Pulteney, will you break me, too?"--"No, Charles," replied he, "_you break_ fast enough of yourself!" Don't you think it hurt him more than the other breaking would? Walpole was plagued one morning with that oaf of unlicked antiquity, Prideaux, and his great boy. He talked through all Italy, and everything in all Italy. Upon mentioning Stosch, Walpole asked if he had seen his collection. He replied, very few of his things, for he did not like his company; that he never heard so much _heathenish talk_ in his days. Walpole inquired what it was, and found that Stosch had one day said before him, _that the soul was only a little glue_. DXVI.--A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE. A CLERGYMAN, who had to preach before Archbishop Whately, begged to be let off, saying, "I hope your Grace will excuse my preaching next Sunday."--"Certainly," said the other indulgently. Sunday came, and the archbishop said to him, "Well! Mr. ----, what became of you? we expected you to preach to-day."--"Oh, your Grace said you would excuse my preaching to-day."--"Exactly; but I did not say I would excuse you _from_ preaching." DXVII.--EPIGRAM. (On Mr. Croker's reputation for being a wag.) THEY say his _wit's refined_! Thus is explained The seeming mystery--_his wit is strained_. DXVIII.--A NICE DISTINCTION.