WHEN the comedy of "She Stoops to Conquer" was in rehearsal, Goldsmith took great pains to give the performers his ideas of their several parts. On the first representation he was not a little displeased to hear the representative of _Young Marlow_ play it as an Irishman. As soon as _Marlow_ came off the stage, Goldsmith asked him the meaning of this, as it was by no means intended as an Irish character. "Sir," replied the comedian, "I spoke it as nearly as I could to the manner in which you instructed me, except that I did not give it quite so strong a _brogue_." DLXXVI.--THE FORCE OF HABIT. A TOPING bookseller presented a check at the banking-house of Sir W. Curtis and Co., and upon the cashier putting the usual question, "How will you have it?" replied, "_Cold, without sugar_." DLXXVII.--NOTICE TO QUIT. AN Ayrshire gentleman, when out on the 1st of September, having failed time after time in bringing down a single bird, had at last pointed out to him by his attendant bag-carrier, a large covey, thick and close on the stubbles. "Noo! Mr. Jeems, let drive at them, just as they are!" Mr. Jeems did let drive, as advised, but all flew off, safe and sound. "Hech, sir (remarks his friend), but ye've made thae yins shift _their quarters_." DLXXVIII.--A LITERAL JOKE. LORD ELDON always pronounced the word _lien_ as though it were _lyon_; and Sir Arthur Pigot pronounced the same word _lean_. On this Jekyll wrote the following epigram:-- "Sir Arthur, Sir Arthur, why, what do you mean, By saying the Chancellor's _lion_ is _lean_? D'ye think that his kitchen's so bad as all that, That nothing within it will ever get fat?" DLXXIX.--AN ARGUMENT. SAYS P--l--s, "Why the Bishops are By nature meant the _soil_ to share, I'll quickly make you understand; For can we not deduct with ease, That nature has designed the _seas_ Expressly to _divide the land_?" DLXXX.--THE CANDLE AND LANTERN. DURING the period Sir Busick Harwood was Professor of Anatomy in the University of Cambridge, he was called in, in a case of some difficulty, by the friends of a patient, who were anxious for his opinion of the malady. Being told the name of the medical man who had previously prescribed, Sir Busick exclaimed, "He! if he were to descend into the patient's stomach with a _candle and lantern_, when he ascended he would not be able to name the complaint." DLXXXI.--ONE HEAD BETTER THAN A DOZEN. KING HENRY VIII., designing to send an embassy to Francis I. at a very dangerous juncture, the nobleman selected begged to be excused, saying, "Such a threatening message to so hot a prince as Francis I. might go near to cost him his life."--"Fear not," said old Harry, "if the French king should take away your life, I will take off the heads of a dozen Frenchmen now in my power."--"But of all these heads," replied the nobleman, "there may not be _one to fit_ my shoulders."