A FARMER, in a stage-coach with Charles Lamb, kept boring him to death with questions in the jargon of agriculturists about crops. At length he put a poser--"And pray, sir, how are turnips t'year?"--"Why that, sir," stammered out Lamb, "will _depend_ upon the boiled legs of mutton." DCLXXXIII.--CASH PAYMENTS. PETERSON the comedian lent a brother actor two shillings, and when he made a demand for the sum, the debtor, turning peevishly from him, said, "Hang it! I'll pay you to-day in some shape or other." Peterson good-humoredly replied, "I shall be much obliged to you, Tom, to let it be as like _two shillings_ as you can." DCLXXXIV.--LAWYER'S HOUSE. THE lawyer's house, if I have rightly read, Is built upon the fool or madman's head. DCLXXXV.--A REASONABLE DEMAND. COLONEL B---- was remarkably fat, and coming one night out of the playhouse, called a chair; but while he was preparing to squeeze into it, a friend, who was stepping into his chariot, called out to him, "B----, I go by your door, and will set you down." B---- gave the chairman a shilling, and was going; when one of them scratched his head, and hoped his honor would give him more than a shilling. "For what, you scoundrel? when I never got into your chair?"--"But consider the fright your honor put us into," replied Pat,--"_consider the fright_!" DCLXXXVI.--EBENEZER ADAMS. THIS celebrated Quaker, on visiting a lady of rank, whom he found six months after the death of her husband, sitting on a sofa covered with black cloth, and in all the dignity of woe, approached her with great solemnity, and gently taking her by the hand, thus accosted her: "So friend, I see that thou hast not yet _forgiven_ God Almighty." This seasonable reproof had such an effect upon the person to whom it was addressed, that she immediately laid aside her trappings of grief, and went about her necessary business and avocations. DCLXXXVII.--ONE BITE AT A CHERRY. A YOUNG fellow once offered to kiss a Quakeress. "Friend," said she, "thee must not do it."--"O, _by Jove!_ but I must," said the youth. "Well, friend, as thee hast _sworn_, thee may do it, but thee must not make a practice of it." DCLXXXVIII.--A FIG FOR THE GROCER! WHEN Abernethy was canvassing for the office of surgeon to St. Bartholomew's Hospital, he called upon a rich grocer. The great man, addressing him, said, "I suppose, sir, you want my vote and interest at this momentous epoch of your life."--"No, I don't," said Abernethy. "I want a pennyworth of figs; come, look sharp and wrap them up; I want to be off!" DCLXXXIX.--STEAM-BOAT RACING.