It is of that hour that the lonely old man in the synagogue is thinking,
and it is that hour which he curses from the bottom of his soul. The
remembrance of it follows him as he rises with the rest of the
congregation and goes out into the spring night. The narrow streets are
full of life; the houses are lighted up; the children and young girls
are standing in the doorway of their homes waiting for the return of
their parents. The unhappy man tortures himself as he walks with the
thought of how different everything would be if he were now going home
with his son-in-law and his daughter, to be greeted by his grandchildren
at the gate. Every child's laugh, every word of welcome that he hears,
cuts him to the heart. Ah, well! Perhaps he is not so very much to blame
when he mutters below his breath, "If God is just, he will punish him
who gained the heart of my child only to lead her astray, and him also
who opened her ears to the words of the tempter!..."
At this moment he feels a hand laid upon his shoulder, and, turning
round to see who it is, starts back as though he saw a ghost. His breath
comes thick and fast, his eyes flash, and he clinches his fist. The man
he has just cursed stands before him--a sickly, broken old man--Schlome,
the Meschumed.
"I must speak to you," he says to Moses. "I have a letter...."
"Silence, wretch!" cries the other, half mad with rage and misery.
"Silence .... I will not listen.... May you words choke...."
A crowd collects round the two men.
The Meschumed advances a few steps nearer his brother-in-law, and
repeats: "I must speak to you. Curse me if you like, but listen to me.
She is...."
Before he can utter another word, Moses has turned and rushed away. He
flies like a hunted creature through the narrow streets, across the
market-place, and up to his own house. There he sinks half fainting on
the stone seat by the door. He sits still, waiting till his breathing
becomes more regular, and his pulses beat less quickly. Then all at once
he thinks he hears some one mention his name. The first-floor windows
are lighted up and widely opened; loud laughter can be heard within the
room. Frau Kasimira Lozinska is having an "at home" this evening. Now he
hears it again quite distinctly: his name, and then a burst of laughter.
He pays no attention to it, but goes into his parlor and sits down,
silently pushing away the food and drink the old housekeeper sets before
him. "She is dead!"--these words seem to ring in his ears and heart--"of
course--she is dead!"
Thus he sits alone in the brilliantly lighted room in a tumult of wild
thoughts, of passionate internal conflict. All around him is hushed; the
melancholy sputtering of the numerous candles is the only sound to be
heard.
* * * * *
The wife of the district judge has an "at home" to-night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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