I shall not enter into a complete analysis or interpretation of this dream.
There is no doubt, however, to every psychoanalyst who has devoted his
attention to dreams, that the analysis of such a dream should prove most
interesting. It is also apparent that by taking up the various elements of
the dream and following them untiringly along the various trails and
ramifications which lead on in various directions, one could unmask the
entire life history of this twelve-year-old girl.
I wish, however, to direct the reader's attention to only one aspect of this
dream--the death of the dreamer. She denied that she feared death or that
she thought of death because of her heart disease or from any other cause. I
next inquired: "Do you wish or have you ever wished you were dead?" The
reaction of the girl was immediate and intense. She stood frightened,
embarrassed; her eyelids twitched convulsively in rapid succession, her face
gradually assumed a suppressed crying expression, tears came to her eyes,
they soon flowed freely and rolled down her cheeks; she sobbed, and, through
her tears, she uttered, almost inarticulately, the one word, "Yes." A
convulsive, inspiratory grunt, a bashful, receding, turning away of the head
and body, a raising of the hands to cover her face and hide her tears, and
hasty, running steps to get away, while murmuring audibly "Let me go away,"
followed rapidly one upon the other. I gently seized her hand, calmed and
reassured her. And, through sobs and tears, in almost inaudible tones, in
starts and spurts, and reluctantly replying to questions which were forced
upon her, producing replies which were literally drawn from her against her
will, she told me this little story: A little boy cousin of hers, three
years her junior, had begun school two years or so later than she, and yet,
in spite of this handicap, this little relative had outstripped her in
school, he being now in a higher grade than she herself was. She would not
be so much concerned or worried about this not-to-be-proud-of performance,
had not the boy's mother that week visited her home and there, in the
presence of other people, talked considerably about her boy's progress in
school, his rapid advance as compared with that of our little dreamer, her
relative stupidity and backwardness. And so this boy's mother had continued
for some time in the same strain. This caused our little girl to feel much
embarrassed--in fact, ashamed and mortified. She had felt that way for
several days past, it had made her cry, had made her feel miserable and
unhappy; so much so that she had wished she were dead. I shall not continue
this analysis further. But it is plainly seen that here too, by a single
dream, we have come upon life-experiences, viewpoints and mental material
which affords us efficient and sufficient weapons to boldly attack the
fortress of her full life history, her mental qualities, her trends, her
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