The patient now began having what she called staring spells. These never
lasted more than a second or so and they were never observed. She carefully
concealed them. Just before the patient began to menstruate which was when
she was about fourteen, she noticed that the day after she had been with the
girl who masturbated her she had a terrific headache. Then she remembered
that for a long time it had been so though she had never connected the
headaches before with the masturbation. She stopped the practice immediately
and never allowed it to be resumed.
After menstruation began the staring spells became grouped and came only
during her periods. But they were more numerous. She would have a number in
one day. They were not yet sufficiently observable to be noticed. At about
this time she had a terrible fright. She was kneeling at her mother's side
listening to a story when she thought she saw a woman's face looking at her
over her mother's shoulder. She was speechless with terror. This was not
noticed and she did not tell. Around this time too she had another fright.
She was studying one evening at the dining-room table when she saw a face
looking in at the window. She screamed, and kept on screaming, but finally
was able to tell that she had seen someone looking in at the window. Her
father took her out and showed that it couldn't be so because there were no
tracks in the snow which was on the ground. She wouldn't or couldn't stop
crying, however, and kept it up all night, she said. Just before
menstruation she did some sleep-walking. She got up one night and went to
her mother and said she had something to tell her. Her mother tried to get
her to say what it was but could not, and saw that her daughter was asleep.
She kept saying, "you know what it is." The mother did not dare to waken her
and finally got her quietly back into bed. The next morning she remembered
nothing of what had happened.
When the patient was about sixteen she married. Her husband did not want
any children and practiced coitus interruptus, but she became pregnant
nevertheless and had an abortion performed. Although c.i. continued to be
practiced she became pregnant again and this time she had a daughter. Four
more years of c. i. followed. During all this time the patient had the
staring spells, but they were never noticed and she never told, not even her
mother. Then, like a thunder bolt out of a clear sky, came a tragedy.
She was pregnant again, and visiting her mother, expecting her husband for
over Sunday, when she received a letter saying he had left her and had gone
off with another woman. When she read the letter she lost consciousness.
Then followed a terrible time. In hate of her husband and on account of
fear lest she be unable to care for her baby she had another abortion
performed. This time she nearly died through not having proper medical
attendance afterwards, but she finally recovered and lived a life of
feverish activity and hate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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