"Last Wednesday night," he said, "I was having dinner with a customer at the
Hotel Thorndike. I began to feel sick and went to the toilet and vomited.
Then I went back and got my friend and started for a drug store in Park
Square to get some quinine. But before I got very far I began to shiver and
shake and I knew that it took quinine two or three hours to work so I
started back to the hotel to get a room. No rooms were to be had, so I said
'get a taxi and take me to the hospital.' I lost the use of my legs on the
steps and they had to carry me. In this attack I was more or less conscious
all through it." What were you thinking of in the taxi, I asked. "I don't
know. I felt as if I wanted to jump at something and grab something." Can
you not remember what was in your mind, I continued. "Only what I've told
you," he answered. Will you lie down and close your eyes and imagine
yourself back in the taxi, I asked. Now tell me what you see. After a
moment he said, "I see flames." What else do you see? "Nothing, only
flames. I feel as if I wanted to jump into the fire." Did you see flames
in the taxi, I asked. "Yes, that was what I wanted to jump at." At this
moment the patient gave a start. What did you see then, I asked. "There is
something in the flames, an object, I don't know what it is. It might be a
thing or a person. I feel as if I wanted to grab the object." At this
instant the patient gave a violent jump into the air and then sank back
relaxed. What did you see, I asked. "This object. It seemed to be
attracting me." Can't you tell what it is, I said. "No. But it seems almost
like a person. It seems as if I could see an arm." What else do you see?
"The arms seem beckoning me." It is a person then? Is it a man or a woman?
"I don't know. I can't make out." Look. "It is a woman. I can see now."
Is it anybody you know? "No, I can't see any face." What do you see? "Just
a woman, standing in the flames, with outstretched arms, as if imploring me
to come. I feel a yearning, as if I must jump and grab her." The patient
stiffened slightly and gave a sort of spring up from the couch and then sank
back, breathing a little heavier. What did you see, I asked. "I thought she
beckoned me to come." Can you see who it is now? "No The face is blank."
Look again and see if you can't tell who it is. What do you see? "I can't
tell. I see several faces come and go." Do you recognize them? "Yes. The
first is my little girl's; then I see a former sweetheart of mine; then I
see my wife's face."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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