4) How does it happen that a clever, educated man believes in the nonsensical? Man thinks that which his heart desires. Only if his heart desires the truth, and only if it does, will he think the truth. But if his heart desires earthly pleasures and peace, he will think of that which will bring him earthly pleasures and peace or still something else. But as it is not an attribute of man to have earthly pleasures and peace, he will think falsely; and to be able to think falsely he will hypnotise himself. (Unclear, not good.) _Feb. 14. M. If I live._ _To-day February 22. Nicholskoe, at the Olsuphievs._[55] It is already more than a week that I feel depressed in spirit. No life; I can not work on anything. Father of my life and of all life! If my work is already finished here, as I am beginning to think, and the ending of my spiritual life, which I am beginning to feel, means a transfer into that other life--that I am already beginning to live there and that here these remnants are being taken away little by little--then show it to me more clearly that I may not seek and weary myself. Otherwise it seems to me that I have many well-thought plans, yet I have no means, not only for carrying them through--this I know, I ought not to think of--but even to do something good, something pleasing to Thee as long as I live here. Or give me strength to work with the consciousness of serving Thee. Still, Thy will be done. If only I always felt that life consisted only in the fulfilment of Thy will, I would not doubt. But doubt comes because I bite the bit and don’t feel the reins. It is now 2 o’clock. I am going to dinner. I took a walk, slept in the morning, read _Trilby_. And I want to sleep all the time. During this time, what has happened? Almost nothing. I thought on the Declaration of Faith. _If I live. February 23. Nicholskoe._ _To-day February 27. Nicholskoe._ Am writing the drama, it moves very stiffly. Indeed I don’t even know if I am progressing or not.... I am very comfortable here; the important thing--it is quiet. Read _Trilby_--poor. Wrote letters to Chertkov, Schmidt,[56] Kenworthy. Read Corneille--instructive. Have been thinking: 1) I made a note that there are two arts. Now thinking it over, I don’t find a clear expression of my thought. Then I thought that there was an art, as they rightly characterise it, which grew from play, from the need of every creature to play. The play of the calf is jumping, the play of man is a symphony, a picture, a poem, a novel.