The journal, with other writings of John Woolman — John Shaqi
The journal, with other writings of John WoolmanWoolman, John
Religion
The journal, with other writings of John Woolman
Woolman, John
Quakers -- Biography; Woolman, John, 1720-1772
A Thing remarkable in my Childhood was, that once, going to a
Neighbour's House, I saw, on the Way, a _Robin_ sitting on her Nest, and
as I came near she went off, but, having young ones, flew about, and
with many Cries expressed her Concern for them; I stood and threw Stones
at her, till, one striking her, she fell down dead: At first I was
pleased with the Exploit, but after a few Minutes was seized with
Horror, as having, in a sportive Way, killed an innocent Creature while
she was careful for her Young: I beheld her lying dead, and thought
these young ones, for which she was so careful, must now perish for want
of their Dam to nourish them; and, after some painful Considerations on
the Subject, I climbed up the Tree, took all the young Birds, and killed
them; supposing that better than to leave them to pine away and die
miserably: And believed, in this Case, that Scripture-proverb was
fulfilled, "The tender Mercies of the Wicked are cruel." I then went on
my Errand, but, for some Hours, could think of little else but the
Cruelties I had committed, and was much troubled. Thus he, whose tender
Mercies are over all his Works, hath placed a Principle in the human
Mind, which incites to exercise Goodness towards every living Creature;
and this being singly attended to, People become tender hearted and
sympathising; but being frequently and totally rejected, the Mind
becomes shut up in a contrary Disposition.
About the twelfth Year of my Age, my Father being abroad, my Mother
reproved me for some Misconduct, to which I made an undutiful Reply;
and, the next first Day, as I was with my Father returning from Meeting,
he told me he understood I had behaved amiss to my Mother, and advised
me to be more careful in future. I knew myself blameable, and in Shame
and Confusion remained silent. Being thus awakened to a Sense of my
Wickedness, I felt Remorse in my Mind, and, getting home, I retired and
prayed to the Lord to forgive me; and do not remember that I ever, after
that, spoke unhandsomely to either of my Parents, however foolish in
some other Things.
Having attained the Age of sixteen Years, I began to love wanton
Company; and though I was preserved from prophane Language, or
scandalous Conduct, still I perceived a Plant in me which produced much
wild Grapes; yet my merciful Father forsook me not utterly, but, at
Times, through his Grace, I was brought seriously to consider my Ways;
and the Sight of my Backslidings affected me with Sorrow; but, for want
of rightly attending to the Reproofs of Instruction, Vanity was added to
Vanity, and Repentance to Repentance: Upon the whole, my Mind was more
and more alienated from the Truth, and I hastened toward Destruction.
While I meditate on the Gulph towards which I travelled, and reflect on
my youthful Disobedience, for these Things I weep, mine Eyes run down
with Water.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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