'Ah! people don't usually die like that. Madame Chanteau was what she
was, but she took me in when I was quite a little girl, and I could
cut my tongue out if I thought that anything I ever said had aught to
do with her death. Don't let us talk about it any more; it would end
badly.'
No further reference had been made by Pauline and Lazare to their
marriage. Chanteau, who was desirous of bringing the matter to a
conclusion, now that the main obstacle to it had disappeared, had
ventured to allude to it one day when Pauline came and sat near him
with her sewing to keep him company. He felt a keen desire to retain
her beside him and a great horror of again falling into the hands of
Véronique should his niece ever leave him. Pauline, however, gave him
to understand that nothing could be settled until the completion of
the period of mourning. It was not a feeling of propriety alone that
prompted her to make that vague reply, but she was also looking to time
to answer a question which she dared not attempt to answer herself. The
suddenness of her aunt's death, that terrible blow from which neither
she nor her cousin had yet recovered, had brought about a kind of
truce between their wounded affections, from which they were gradually
awaking, only to suffer the more on finding themselves, amidst their
irreparable loss, face to face with their own distressful story: Louise
driven out of the house; their love shattered, and, perhaps, the whole
course of their existences modified. What was to be done now? Did
they still love each other? Was their marriage possible or advisable?
Questions like these floated through their minds, amidst the stupor in
which they were left by the sudden blow that had fallen upon them, and
neither the one nor the other seemed anxious to force on a solution.
With Pauline, however, the recollection of the insult offered to her
had lost much of its bitterness. She had long ago forgiven Lazare,
and was quite ready to place her hand in his whenever he should show
repentance. She had not the least jealous desire to see him humiliate
himself before her; her only thought was for him, so that she might
give him back his promise if he no longer loved her. Her whole anguish
lay in that doubt: did he still love Louise?--or had he forgotten her
and returned to the old affections of his early youth? However, as she
thus thought of giving Lazare up rather than make him unhappy her heart
sank, for, though she trusted she would have the courage to do so, if
necessary, she hoped she would die soon afterwards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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