Pauline came downstairs very late that morning. When she awoke, it
made her happy to find that all the resolutions she had taken during
the night remained fixed and unwavering within her. But she began to
reflect that she had forgotten what would become of herself, and that
she must make some plans for her future altered circumstances. Though
she might have the courage to bring about the marriage of Lazare and
Louise, she would certainly never be brave enough to remain with them
and watch their happiness. Self-devotion has its limits, and she was
afraid of some return of her violent outbursts, some terrible scene
which would kill her. Besides, was she not really doing all that
could possibly be demanded of her, and could anyone have the cruelty
to impose useless torture upon her? She came to an immediate and
irrevocable decision. She would go away, leave the house, which was so
full of disquieting associations. This would mean a complete change in
her life, but she did not shrink from it.
At breakfast she showed a calm cheerfulness, which she henceforth
maintained. She bravely endured the sight of Lazare and Louise, sitting
side by side, whispering and smiling, without any other feeling of
weakness than a chilly coldness at her heart. As it was Saturday, she
made up her mind to send them out for a long walk together in order
that she might be alone when Doctor Cazenove came. They went off, and
Pauline then took the precaution of going out into the road to meet the
Doctor. As soon as he caught sight of her he wanted her to get up into
his gig and drive to the house with him. But she begged him to alight,
and they walked along slowly together, while Martin, a hundred yards in
the rear, brought on the empty vehicle.
In a few simple words Pauline unbosomed herself to the Doctor. She
told him everything--her plan of giving Lazare to Louise and her
determination to leave the house. This confession had seemed necessary
to her; she was unwilling to act upon mere inspiration, and the old
doctor was the only person who could understand her.
Cazenove suddenly halted in the middle of the road and clasped the girl
in his long bony arms. He was trembling with emotion, and he kissed her
on the hair, as he said affectionately:
'You are quite right, my dear; you are quite right. And it pleases me
very much to hear it, for matters might have had a much worse ending.
For months past I have been feeling grieved, and I was longing to
come and talk to you, for I knew you were very unhappy. Ah! they have
plundered you and stripped you nicely, those good folks! First your
money, and now your heart!'
The young girl tried to stop him.
'My dear friend, I beg you----You are judging them unfairly.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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