The knowledge that his wife was _enceinte_ gave him a fresh shock. It
caused him an indefinable sensation, compounded of joy and an increase
of disquietude. Notwithstanding the contrary views of 'the old one,'
the thought of becoming a father thrilled him with pride--indeed, a
vain wonder, as though he were the first person whom such a thing had
befallen. But his joy quickly became poisoned; he tormented himself
with forebodings of a disastrous issue; already making up his mind
that his wife would die, and that the child would never be born. And,
indeed, it happened that Louise's health became very bad, for she
was far from strong; and then the confusion of the household and
the upsetting of their usual habits, together with their frequent
bickerings, soon made them both thoroughly miserable. The expectation
of a child, which ought to have brought the husband and wife more
closely together, only served, indeed, to increase the misunderstanding
between them. Thus, when Louise's doctor suggested a visit to the
mountains, Lazare was delighted to take her to her sister-in-law's
and secure a fortnight's freedom for himself on the plea of going to
see his father at Bonneville. At the bottom of his heart he really
felt ashamed of this flight; but, after arguing the matter with his
conscience, he persuaded himself that a short separation would have a
tranquillising effect upon both of them, and that it would be quite
sufficient if he joined his wife before the expected event.
On the evening when Pauline at last learned the whole history of the
past eighteen months she remained for a moment unable to speak--quite
overcome, indeed, by the pitiable story. They were sitting in the
dining-room; she had put Chanteau to bed, and Lazare had just finished
making his confession in front of the cold tea-pot, beneath the lamp
which was now burning dimly.
After an interval of silence Pauline at last exclaimed:
'Why, you don't love each other any longer!'
Her cousin rose to go upstairs, and replied, with an uneasy smile:
'We love each other as much as is possible, my dear girl. You don't
understand things, shut up here in this hole. Why should love fare
better than anything else?'
As soon as she had closed the door of her own room Pauline fell into
one of those fits of despondency which had so often tortured her and
kept her awake, on the very same chair, while all the rest of them were
sleeping. Was there going to be a renewal of trouble? She had hoped it
was all done with, both for others and herself, when she had torn her
heart asunder and given Lazare to Louise; and now she found how useless
her sacrifice had been. They had already ceased to love each other;
it was all to no purpose that she had wept bitter tears and martyred
herself. To this wretched result had she come, to fresh trouble and
strife, the thought of which added to her grief. There seemed to be no
end to suffering!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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