Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
He took her in his arms. His lips, brushing her ear, asked, "Do you love
me? Tell me, tell me, do you love me?" Dreamily, incredulously, she
listened to that strong heart-beat which she had imagined. But he
pressed her. "Ellen, be kind! Tell me, do you love me?" That was cruel
of him. She was not sure that she approved of love. The position of
women being what it was. Men were tyrants, and they seemed to be able to
make their wives ignoble. Married women were often anti-Suffragists;
they were often fat; they never seemed to go out long walks in the hills
or to write poetry. She laid her hands flat against his chest and
pushed away from him. "No!" she whimpered. But he bent on her a face
wolfish with a hunger that was nevertheless sweet-tempered, since it was
beautifully written in the restraint which hung like a veil before his
passion that he would argue only gently with her denial. And at the
sight she knew his whisper, "Ellen, be kind, tell me that you love me,"
was such a call to her courage as the trumpet is to the soldier. She
held up her head, and cried out, "I love you!" but was amazed to find
that she too was whispering.
"Oh, you dear giving thing!" he murmured. "It is such charity of you to
love me!" A tremor ran through his body, his embrace became a gentle
tyranny. He was going to kiss her. But this she could not bear. She
loved to lay her hand on the blue shadowed side of marble, she loved to
see gleaming blocks of ice going through the streets in lorries, she
loved the wind as it blows in the face of the traveller as he breasts
the pass, she loved swift running and all austerity; and she had
confused intimations that this that he wanted to do would in some deep
way make war on these preferences. "Ah, no!" she whimpered. "I have told
you that I love you. Why need you touch me? I can love you without
touching you. Please ... please...."
Oh, if he wanted it he must have it. As she let her head fall back on
her throat it came to her that though she had not known that she had
ever thought of love, although she would have sworn that she had never
thought of anything but getting on, there had been many nights when,
between sleeping and waking, she had dreamed of this moment. It was
going to be (his deep slow breath, gentle with amorousness, assured her)
as she had then prefigured it; romantic as music heard across moonlit
water, as a deep voice speaking Shakespeare, as rich colours spilt on
marble when the sun sets behind cathedral windows; but warm as summer,
soft as the south wind....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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