bitter water, his past life flowed higher and higher round him. Far
off he thought he could see Margery, but she gave no sign. She did not
beckon to him to come, she was not alive to the danger of the rising
waters. Soon it would be too late.
The first evening, after the daylight had fallen and he could no longer
paint, he threw himself down on the sofa. The work of the last few days
stood opposite him, and the red glow of the sunset, not yet quite faded
from the sky, still made it clearly visible, though the value of the
colors was lost. Frank felt like a man who, after a long, sleepless
night of pain, feels that if only he could forget everything for a
moment he might doze off into a slumber that would take an hour or two
out of life. But the pain, as it were, stood before him, mastering him.
It may only have been that his nerves, abnormally excited after the
strain of working, played him false; but it seemed to him that, in
spite of the fading light, the portrait was as clear as ever; and as
he was sitting wondering at this, half encouraging himself to believe
it, he was suddenly aware that the figure he had painted cast a shadow
on to the background which he had never put there. As he had painted
it, the shadow fell on the left side of the face, but now it seemed
that the shadow was on the right side of the face, exactly as it would
naturally be cast by the light coming from the window. At that moment
he knew what fear was--cold fear that clutches at the heart--and he
sat there a moment unable to move, almost expecting to hear it speak
to him. Then, with an effort of will so strong that it seemed like a
straining of the body, he walked up to it, turned it round to the wall,
and left the room.
That night he had an odd dream, the result again of the excitement of
the day, but so strangely natural that he hardly knew next morning
whether it had happened or not. He dreamed he went back to the studio,
finding everything exactly as he had left it--the portrait turned
with its face to the wall, and his brushes and palette where he had
laid them down when it had become too dark to paint. The servants
had brought in lights, and had laid the day's paper on the table. He
was conscious of utter weariness of mind and body, and he longed for
Margery, but knew that she was away. The yellow programme of the Café
Chantant lay on a shelf of the bookcase, where he had put it in the
leaves of _Jekyll and Hyde_, and he took the two down together, as he
had done a few days before, and mechanically his mind again retraced
the life it had before suggested to him. Suddenly an utter loathing
of it all, more complete than he had ever felt, came over him, and he
tried to tear the programme up. But it seemed to be made of a thin
sheet of some hard substance, and it would not tear. Then he tried
to crush it under his foot, but it would not even bend. The bitter,
unimaginable agony of not being able to destroy it awoke him, and he
found morning had come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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