The tribute he received was still worth having. In May he was sent a
boatful of herring. In August he was let have two boatfuls of mackerel.
In November he was given five barrels of preserved mice. At other
seasons he had for his tribute one out of every hundred birds that flew
across the Island on their way to Ireland--tomtits, pee-wits, linnets,
siskins, starlings, martins, wrens and tender young barn owls. He was
also sent the following as marks of allegiance and respect: a salmon,
to show his dominion over the rivers; the skin of a marten to show his
dominion in the woods; a live cricket to show his dominion in the houses
of men; the horn of a cow, to show his right to a portion of the milk
produced in the Western World.
But the tribute from the Western World became smaller and smaller. One
year the boat did not come with the herring. Mackerel was sent to him
afterwards but he knew it was sent to him because so much was
being taken out of the sea that the farmer-men were plowing their
mackerel-catches into the land to make their crops grow. Then a year
came when he got neither the salmon nor the marten skin, neither the
live cricket nor the cow’s horn. Then he got righteously and royally
indignant. He stood up on his four paws on the floor of his palace, and
declared to his wife that he himself was going to Ireland to know what
prevented the sending of his lawful tribute to him. He called for
his Prime Minister then and said, “Prepare for Us our Speech from the
Throne.”
The Prime Minister went to the Parliament House and wrote down “Oyez,
Oyez, Oyez!” But he could not remember any more of the ancient language
in which the speeches from the Throne were always written. He went home
and hanged himself with a measure of tape and his wife buried the body
under the hearth-stone.
“Speech or no speech,” said the King of the Cats, “I’m going to pay a
royal visit to my subjects in Ireland.”
He went to the top of the cliff and he made a spring. He landed on the
deck of a ship that was bringing the King of Norway’s daughter to be
married to the King of Scotland’s son. The ship nearly sank with the
crash of his body on it. He ran up the sails and placed himself on the
mast of the ship. There he gathered his feet together and made another
spring. This time he landed on a boat that was bringing oak-timber to
build a King’s Palace in London. He stood where the timber was highest
and made another spring. This time he landed on the Giant’s Causeway
that runs from Ireland out into the sea. He picked his steps from
boulder to boulder, and then walked royally and resolutely on the ground
of Ireland. A man was riding on horseback with a woman seated on the
saddle behind him. The King of the Cats waited until they came up.
“My good man,” said he very grandly, “when you go back to your house,
tell the ash-covered cat in the corner that the King of the Cats has come
to Ireland to see him.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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