"Who then?" said Towers sternly. "Jones!" I answered. "Yes, my lord! Sorry to have kept your lordship waiting; but I think you will find these cigarettes to your liking. I haven't been at this box since Lord Porchester was here, and it got mislaid." "Take them away!" I roared. "They're Egyptians!" "Yes, my lord!" said Jones, in delight. He glided proudly from the room. "'Jones invited us?'" pursued the Infant. "What rot! As if Jones would dare do anything you hadn't told him. _We_ are his slaves. But you? Why, he hangs on your words!" "D---- him! I should like to see him hanging on something higher!" I cried. "Yes, your language _is_ low," admitted the Infant. "But, seriously, what's all the row about? I thought this champagne lunch was a bit of realism, just to start off with." I explained briefly how Jones had coiled himself around me, even as they had described. The dado echoed their ribald laughter. "Oh, well," said the Infant, "it's only right you should give a lunch the day you come into a peerage. It's really too much to expect us to pay scot, when there was a beautiful lunch of cold beef and pickles waiting for us in the dining-room, and included in our terms per week. We aren't going to pay for two lunches." "I don't mind the lunch," I said, smiling, my sense of humour returning now that I had poured forth my grievance. "I'd gladly give you chaps a lunch any day, and I'm pleased you enjoyed it so much. But, for the rest, I'm going to run this joke by syndicate, or not at all. I only came down with a tenner." "A pound a day!" said Towers, "that ought to be enough." "Why, there's a pound gone bang over this lunch already!" I retorted. "And then there's the apartments," put in the Infant roguishly. "I wonder what they'll tot up to?" "Jones alone knows," I groaned. He came in--a veritable devil--while his name was on my lips, with a new box of cigarettes. "Clear away!" I said briefly. He cleared away, and we breathed freely. We leaned back in the plush-covered easy-chairs, sending rings of fragrant smoke towards the blue horizon, and I felt more able to face the situation calmly. "I daresay we can lend you five quid between us," said Towers. "What's the good of a loan to an honest man?" I asked. "Can't we work the joke without such a lot of capital? The first thing is to get out of these rooms, and into that cosy little crib near you. I can say I yearn for your society." "But have you the courage to look Jones in the face and tell him that?" queried Towers dubiously. I hesitated. I felt instinctively that Jones would be dreadfully shocked if I changed my palatial apartments for a cheap bedroom; that it would be better if some one else broke the news. "Oh, the Infant'll explain," I said lightly.