The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
common burden of continuous existence, as soon as I had skipped into
years of discretion. Not for me did Time pass with that tragic
footstep which never returns on itself; for me he was not the
irrevocable, the relentless. I regretted my lost youth--but it was not
with hopeless, passionate tears, with mutinous yearnings after the
impossible; it was as one who waves a regretful adieu to a charming
girl he will meet again."
"Ah! but you will not meet her again," I said softly.
"No; but the feeling was the same. Of course, when I was thirty I did
not know I should die before I was two. I had no more privilege of
prescience than the ordinary mortal. But in everything else how
enviable was my lot compared to his whom every day is sweeping towards
Death, for whom no vision of renewed youth gleams behind the black
hangings! Oh! the glory of growing old without dread, with the
assurance that age, which is ripening you, is not ripening you for the
Gleaner, that the years will add wisdom without eternally subtracting
the capacity for joy, and that every tottering step is bringing you
nearer, not the Grave, but the joyous resurrection of your youth!"
"And you have experienced that?" I cried, with envious incredulity.
"Yes," answered the baby solemnly. "Of course I prepared for the Great
Change. Not that Nature did not herself smooth the metamorphosis. The
loss of teeth, the gradual baldness, the feeble limbs, everything
pointed to the proximity of my Second Childhood. I knew that my odd
life had not much longer to run, that at any moment the transformation
might take place and the even numbers begin. Giving out that I was
going to explore the African deserts, and accompanied only by my
faithful body-servant, Downton, I retired to Egypt to await the great
event, having previously ordered baby-linen and the various requisites
of infantile toilette. I had at one time meditated providing myself
with parents, but ultimately concluded that they would prove too
troublesome to manage, and that it would be better to trust myself
entirely to the management of Downton, since I had already placed
myself in his power by leaving him all my money."
"But what necessity was there for that?" I enquired.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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