The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
from the bosom of the wife I loved and hurried away from the embraces
of the children whose careers it would be my solicitude to watch over.
Imagine the agony if I had been cruelly spared to my seventy-eighth
year--the agony of a condemned criminal who does not know on what day
he is to be execu--"
[Illustration: "THE ENTHUSIASM OF YOUTH SICKLIED OVER WITH THE
PRESCIENCE OF SENILE CYNICISM."]
His voice failed suddenly. He had slightly raised himself on his
pillow in his excitement, but now his head fell back, revealing the
fatal white patches on the baby throat. I seized his hand quickly to
feel his pulse. The little palm lay cold in mine. I started violently
and sat up rigidly in my chair.
The child was dead. Downton was sobbing at my side.
As I was writing out the certificate, an odd thought came into my
head. I scribbled what I thought an appropriate epitaph and showed it
to Downton, but he glared at me furiously. I hastened home to bed.
My epitaph ran:
HERE LIES
WILLIAM ("WILLY") STREETSIDE,
WHO LED A DOUBLE LIFE,
AND DIED IN BLAMELESS REPUTE,
AT THE AVERAGE AGE
OF 39 YEARS.
"_And in their death they were not divided._"
_Cheating the Gallows._
CHAPTER I.
A CURIOUS COUPLE.
They say that a union of opposites makes the happiest marriage, and
perhaps it is on the same principle that men who chum together are
always so oddly assorted. You shall find a man of letters sharing
diggings with an auctioneer, and a medical student pigging with a
stockbroker's clerk. Perhaps each thus escapes the temptation to talk
"shop" in his hours of leisure, while he supplements his own
experiences of life by his companion's.
There could not be an odder couple than Tom Peters and Everard G.
Roxdal--the contrast began with their names, and ran through the
entire chapter. They had a bedroom and a sitting-room in common, but
it would not be easy to find what else. To his landlady, worthy Mrs.
Seacon, Tom Peters's profession was a little vague, but everybody knew
that Roxdal was the manager of the City and Suburban Bank, and it
puzzled her to think why a bank manager should live with such
a seedy-looking person, who smoked clay pipes and sipped
whisky-and-water all the evening when he was at home. For Roxdal was
as spruce and erect as his fellow-lodger was round-shouldered and
shabby; he never smoked, and he confined himself to a small glass of
claret at dinner.
[Illustration: TOM PETERS.]
[Illustration: EVERARD G. ROXDAL.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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