The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Now Bob understood. He had never had any stockings in his life. He
felt mad to think how much else he had missed through the want of a
pair. If he could only get a pair of stockings to hang up, he might be
a rich boy and dine off bread and treacle. He wandered through the
courts and alleys looking for stockings in the gutters and dustbins.
They were not there. Old boots were to be found in abundance though
not in couples (which was odd); but Bob soon discovered that people
never throw away their stockings. At last he plucked up courage and
begged from house to house, but nobody had a pair to spare. What
becomes of all the old stockings? Not everybody hoards treasure in
them. Bob met plenty of kind hearts; they offered him bread when he
asked for a stocking.
At last, weary and footsore, he returned to his doorstep and pondered.
He wondered if he could cheat Santa Claus by making a pair out of a
piece of newspaper he had picked up. But perhaps Mr. Claus was
particular about the material and admitted nothing under cotton. He
thought of stepping deeply into the mud and caking a pair, but then he
could only remove them at night by brushing them off in little pieces;
he feared they would stick too tight to come off whole. He also
thought of painting his calves with stripes from "wet paint," on the
off chance that Mr. Claus would drop the presents carelessly down
along his legs. But he concluded that if Mr. Claus lived in the sky he
could look down and see all he was doing. So he began to cry instead.
"What are you crying about?" said a quavering voice, and Bob,
startled, became aware of a wretched old creature dining on the
doorstep at his side.
[Illustration: AN OLD WOMAN DINING ON THE DOORSTEP.]
"I ain't got no stockings," he sobbed in answer.
"Well, I'll give you mine," said his neighbour.
Bob hesitated. The poor old woman looked so brokendown herself, it
seemed mean to accept her offer.
"Won't you be cold?" he asked timidly.
"I shan't be warmer," mumbled the old woman. "But then you will."
"No, I won't have them, thank you kindly, mum," said Bob stoutly.
"Then I'll tell you what to do," said the old woman, who was really a
fairy, though she had lost both wings--they had been amputated in a
surgical operation. "It's easy enough to get stockings if you only
know how. Run away now and pick out any person you meet and say, 'I
wish that person's stockings were on my feet.' You can only wish once,
so be careful, especially, not to wish for a pair of blue stockings,
as they won't suit you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account