The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Twelve and sixpence is the least I will take. Eliphaz Green haggles
so terribly."
They split the difference, and so eleven and threepence represented
the predominance of Eliphaz Green's stinginess over Volcovitch's.
The very next day Sugarman invaded the Green work-room. Rose bent over
her seams, her heart fluttering. Leibel had duly apprised her of the
roundabout manner in which she would have to be won, and she had
acquiesced in the comedy. At the least it would save her the trouble
of father-taming.
Sugarman's entry was brusque and breathless. He was overwhelmed with
joyous emotion. His blue bandanna trailed agitatedly from his
coat-tail.
"At last!" he cried, addressing the little white-haired master-tailor,
"I have the very man for you."
"Yes?" grunted Eliphaz, unimpressed. The monosyllable was packed with
emotion. It said: "Have you really the face to come to me again with
an ideal man?"
"He has all the qualities that you desire," began the Shadchan, in a
tone that repudiated the implications of the monosyllable. "He is
young, strong, God-fearing--"
"Has he any money?" grumpily interrupted Eliphaz.
"He _will_ have money," replied Sugarman unhesitatingly, "when he
marries."
"Ah!" The father's voice relaxed, and his foot lay limp on the
treadle. He worked one of his machines himself, and paid himself the
wages so as to enjoy the profit. "How much will he have?"
"I think he will have fifty pounds; and the least you can do is to let
him have fifty pounds," replied Sugarman, with the same happy
ambiguity.
Eliphaz shook his head on principle.
"Yes, you will," said Sugarman, "when you learn how fine a man he is."
The flush of confusion and trepidation already on Leibel's countenance
became a rosy glow of modesty, for he could not help overhearing what
was being said, owing to the lull of the master-tailor's machine.
"Tell me, then," rejoined Eliphaz.
"Tell me, first, if you will give fifty to a young, healthy,
hard-working, God-fearing man, whose idea it is to start as a
master-tailor on his own account? And you know how profitable that
is!"
"To a man like that," said Eliphaz, in a burst of enthusiasm, "I would
give as much as twenty-seven pounds ten!"
Sugarman groaned inwardly, but Leibel's heart leaped with joy. To get
four months' wages at a stroke! With twenty-seven pounds ten he could
certainly procure several machines, especially on the instalment
system. Out of the corners of his eyes he shot a glance at Rose, who
was beyond earshot.
"Unless you can promise thirty it is waste of time mentioning his
name," said Sugarman.
"Well, well--who is he?"
Sugarman bent down, lowering his voice into the father's ear.
"What! Leibel!" cried Eliphaz, outraged.
"Sh!" said Sugarman, "or he will overhear your delight, and ask more.
He has his nose high enough as it is."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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