The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"B--b--b--ut," sputtered the bewildered parent, "I know Leibel myself.
I see him every day. I don't want a Shadchan to find me a man I
know--a mere hand in my own workshop!"
"Your talk has neither face nor figure," answered Sugarman sternly.
"It is just the people one sees every day that one knows least. I
warrant that if I had not put it into your head you would never have
dreamt of Leibel as a son-in-law. Come now, confess."
Eliphaz grunted vaguely, and the Shadchan went on triumphantly. "I
thought as much. And yet where could you find a better man to keep
your daughter?"
"He ought to be content with her alone," grumbled her father.
Sugarman saw the signs of weakening, and dashed in, full strength.
"It's a question whether he will have her at all. I have not been to
him about her yet. I awaited your approval of the idea." Leibel
admired the verbal accuracy of these statements, which he just caught.
"But I didn't know he would be having money," murmured Eliphaz.
"Of course you didn't know. That's what the Shadchan is for--to point
out the things that are under your nose."
"But where will he be getting this money from?"
"From you," said Sugarman frankly.
"From me?"
"From whom else? Are you not his employer? It has been put by for his
marriage-day."
"He has saved it?"
"He has not _spent_ it," said Sugarman, impatiently.
"But do you mean to say he has saved fifty pounds?"
"If he could manage to save fifty pounds out of your wages he would be
indeed a treasure," said Sugarman. "Perhaps it might be thirty."
"But you said fifty."
"Well, _you_ came down to thirty," retorted the Shadchan. "You cannot
expect him to have more than your daughter brings."
"I never said thirty," Eliphaz reminded him. "Twenty-seven ten was my
last bid."
"Very well; that will do as a basis of negotiations," said Sugarman
resignedly. "I will call upon him this evening. If I were to go over
and speak to him now he would perceive you were anxious and raise his
terms, and that will never do. Of course, you will not mind allowing
me a pound more for finding you so economical a son-in-law?"
"Not a penny more."
"You need not fear," said Sugarman resentfully. "It is not likely I
shall be able to persuade him to take so economical a father-in-law.
So you will be none the worse for promising."
"Be it so," said Eliphaz, with a gesture of weariness, and he started
his machine again.
"Twenty-seven pounds ten, remember," said Sugarman, above the whirr.
Eliphaz nodded his head, whirring his wheelwork louder.
"And paid before the wedding, mind?"
The machine took no notice.
"Before the wedding, mind," repeated Sugarman. "Before we go under the
canopy."
"Go now, go now!" grunted Eliphaz, with a gesture of impatience. "It
shall be all well." And the white-haired head bowed immovably over its
work.
In the evening Rose extracted from her father the motive of Sugarman's
visit, and confessed that the idea was to her liking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account