The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
And then arose a hubbub of voices, a chaos of suggestions; friends
rushed to and fro between the camps, some emerging from their seats in
the Synagogue to add to the confusion. But Eliphaz had taken his stand
upon a rock--he had no more ready money. To-morrow, the next day, he
would have some. And Leibel, pale and dogged, clutched tighter at
those machines that were slipping away momently from him. He had not
yet seen his bride that morning, and so her face was shadowy compared
with the tangibility of those machines. Most of the other maidens were
married women by now, and the situation was growing desperate. From
the female camp came terrible rumours of bridesmaids in hysterics, and
a bride that tore her wreath in a passion of shame and humiliation.
Eliphaz sent word that he would give an I O U for the balance, but
that he really could not muster any more current coin. Sugarman
instructed the ambassador to suggest that Eliphaz should raise the
money among his friends.
And the short spring day slipped away. In vain the minister, apprised
of the block, lengthened out the formulæ for the other pairs, and
blessed them with more reposeful unction. It was impossible to stave
off the Leibel-Green item indefinitely, and at last Rose remained the
only orange-wreathed spinster in the Synagogue. And then there was a
hush of solemn suspense, that swelled gradually into a steady rumble
of babbling tongues as minute succeeded minute and the final bridal
party still failed to appear. The latest bulletin pictured the bride
in a dead faint. The afternoon was waning fast. The minister left his
post near the canopy, under which so many lives had been united, and
came to add his white tie to the forces for compromise. But he fared
no better than the others. Incensed at the obstinacy of the
antagonists, he declared he would close the Synagogue. He gave the
couple ten minutes to marry in or quit. Then chaos came, and
pandemonium--a frantic babel of suggestion and exhortation from the
crowd. When five minutes had passed, a legate from Eliphaz announced
that his side had scraped together twenty pounds, and that this was
their final bid.
Leibel wavered; the long day's combat had told upon him; the reports
of the bride's distress had weakened him. Even Sugarman had lost his
cocksureness of victory. A few minutes more and both commissions might
slip through his fingers. Once the parties left the Synagogue it would
not be easy to drive them there another day. But he cheered on his man
still--one could always surrender at the tenth minute.
At the eighth the buzz of tongues faltered suddenly, to be transposed
into a new key, so to speak. Through the gesticulating assembly swept
that murmur of expectation which crowds know when the procession is
coming at last. By some mysterious magnetism all were aware that the
BRIDE herself--the poor hysteric bride--had left the paternal camp,
was coming in person to plead with her mercenary lover.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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