The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"But dost thou think he will have me, little father?" she asked, with
cajoling eyes.
"Anyone would have my Rose."
"Ah, but Leibel is different. So many years he has sat at my side and
said nothing."
"He had his work to think of; he is a good, saving youth."
"At this very moment Sugarman is trying to persuade him--not so? I
suppose he will want much money."
"Be easy, my child." And he passed his discoloured hand over her hair.
Sugarman turned up the next day, and reported that Leibel was
unobtainable under thirty pounds, and Eliphaz, weary of the contest,
called over Leibel, till that moment carefully absorbed in his
scientific chalk-marks, and mentioned the thing to him for the first
time. "I am not a man to bargain," Eliphaz said, and so he gave the
young man his tawny hand, and a bottle of rum sprang from somewhere,
and work was suspended for five minutes, and the "hands" all drank
amid surprised excitement. Sugarman's visits had prepared them to
congratulate Rose. But Leibel was a shock.
The formal engagement was marked by even greater junketing, and at
last the marriage-day came. Leibel was resplendent in a diagonal
frock-coat, cut by his own hand, and Rose stepped from the cab a
medley of flowers, fairness, and white silk, and behind her came two
bridesmaids--her sisters--a trio that glorified the spectator-strewn
pavement outside the Synagogue. Eliphaz looked almost tall in his
shiny high hat and frilled shirt-front. Sugarman arrived on foot,
carrying red-socked little Ebenezer tucked under his arm.
Leibel and Rose were not the only couple to be disposed of, for it was
the thirty-third day of the Omer--a day fruitful in marriages.
But at last their turn came. They did not, however, come in their
turn, and their special friends among the audience wondered why they
had lost their precedence. After several later marriages had taken
place, a whisper began to circulate. The rumour of a hitch gained
ground steadily, and the sensation was proportionate. And, indeed, the
rose was not to be picked without a touch of the thorn.
Gradually the facts leaked out, and a buzz of talk and comment ran
through the waiting Synagogue. Eliphaz had not paid up!
At first he declared he would put down the money immediately after
the ceremony. But the wary Sugarman, schooled by experience, demanded
its instant delivery on behalf of his other client. Hard-pressed,
Eliphaz produced ten sovereigns from his trousers' pocket, and
tendered them on account. These Sugarman disdainfully refused, and the
negotiations were suspended. The bridegroom's party was encamped in
one room, the bride's in another, and after a painful delay Eliphaz
sent an emissary to say that half the amount should be forthcoming,
the extra five pounds in a bright new Bank of England note. Leibel,
instructed and encouraged by Sugarman, stood firm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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