The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
The Viscount was toying with a Chartreuse in the dining-room. The
waiters eyed me suspiciously, for I was shabby and dusty and
haggard-looking. To my surprise Dorking had doffed the sailor, and
wore a loud checked suit! He looked up as I entered, but did not
appear to recognise me. There was no one with him. Still I had found
him. That was the prime thing.
Becoming conscious I was faint with hunger, I took up the menu, when
to my vexation I saw the Viscount pay his bill, and don an overcoat
and a billy-cock, and ere I could snatch bite or sup I was striding
along the slimy forest paths, among the gaunt, fog-wrapped trees,
following the Viscount by his footprints whenever I lost him for a
moment among the avenues. Dorking marched with quick, decisive steps.
In the heart of the forest, by a great oak, whose roots sprawled in
every direction, he came to a standstill. Hidden behind some
brushwood, I awaited the sequel with beating heart.
The Viscount took out a great coloured handkerchief, and spread it
carefully over the roots of the oak; then he sat down on the
handkerchief, and whistled the same bar of the same once popular air
he had whistled outside the coffee-house. Immediately a broken-nosed
man emerged from behind a bush, and addressed the Viscount. I strained
my ears, but could not catch their conversation, but I heard Dorking
laugh heartily, as he sprang up and clapped the man on the shoulder.
They walked off together.
I was now excited to the wildest degree; I forgot the pangs of baffled
appetite; my whole being was strung to find a key to the strange
proceedings of the mathematical Viscount. Tracking their double
footsteps through the mist, I found them hobnobbing in a public-house
on the forest border. After peeping in, I ran round to another door,
and stood in an adjoining bar, where, without being seen, I could have
a snack of bread and cheese, and hear all.
"Could you bring her round to my house to-night?" said Dorking, in a
hoarse whisper. "You shall have the money down."
"Right, sir!" said the man. And then their pewters clinked.
To my chagrin this was all the conversation. The Viscount strode out
alone--except for my company. The fog had grown deeper, and I was glad
to be conducted to the station. This time we went to Liverpool Street.
Dorking lingered at the book-stall, and at last enquired if they had
yesterday's _Times_. Receiving a reply in the negative, he clucked his
tongue impatiently. Then, as with a sudden thought, he ran up to the
North London Railway book-stall, only to be again disappointed. He
took out the great coloured handkerchief, and wiped his forehead. Then
he entered into confidential conversation with an undistinguished
stranger, fat and foreign, who had been looking eagerly up and down at
the extreme end of the platform. Re-descending into the street, he
jumped into a Charing Cross 'bus. As he went inside I had no option
but to go outside, though the air was yellow and I felt chilled to the
bone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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