The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Thou forgettest that thou hast come off successful," replied the King
in astonished reproof. "Or art thou so ignorant of history or of the
sacred narratives handed down to us by our ancestors that thou art
unaware that when three brothers set out on the same quest, it is
always the youngest brother that emerges triumphant? Such is the will
of the gods. Cease, therefore, thy blasphemous talk, lest they
overhear thee and be put out."
A low, ominous murmur from the courtiers emphasised the King's
warning.
"But the Princess--she at least is mine," protested the unhappy
Prince. "We love each other--we are engaged."
"Thou forgettest she can only marry the heir," replied the King in
astonished reproof. "Wouldst thou have us repudiate our solemn
treaty?"
"But I wasn't really the first to hit on the idea at all!" cried the
Black Prince desperately. "Ask the Blue Prince! he never telleth
untruth."
"Thou forgettest I have taken an oath of silence on the matter,"
replied the Blue Prince in astonished reproof. "The Black Prince it
was that first hit on the idea," volunteered the Green Prince. "He
exchanged his boat for the car and the car for the pigeon."
So the three Princes were dismissed, while the King took counsel with
the magicians and the wise men who never mean what they say. And the
Court Chamberlain, wearing the orchid of office in his buttonhole, was
sent to interview the Princess, and returned saying that she refused
to marry any one but the proprietor of the pigeon, and that she still
had his letters as evidence in case of his marrying anyone else.
"Bah!" said the King, "she shall obey the treaty. Six feet of
parchment are not to be put aside for the whim of a girl five foot
eight. The only real difficulty remaining is to decide whether the
Blue Prince or the Green Prince is the elder. Let me see--what was it
the Oracle said? Perhaps it will be clearer now:--
"'The eldest is he that the Princess shall wed.'
"No, it still seems merely to avoid stating anything new."
"Pardon me, sire," replied the Chief Magician; "it seems perfectly
plain now. Obviously, thou art to let the Princess choose her husband,
and the Oracle guarantees that, other things being equal, she shall
select the eldest. If thou hadst let her have the pick from among the
three, she would have selected the one with whom she was in love--the
Black Prince to wit, and that would have interfered with the Oracle's
arrangements. But now that we know with whom she is in love, we can
remove that one, and then, there being no reason why she should choose
the Green Prince rather than the Blue Prince, the deities of the realm
undertake to inspire her to go by age only."
"Thou hast spoken well," said the King. "Let the Princess of
Paphlagonia be brought, and let the two Princes return."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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