The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Flutter-Duck could not resist rushing in to show the gorgeous goose
she had bought from a man in the street--a most wonderful bargain.
Although it was only a Wednesday, why should they not have a goose?
They were at the thick of the busy season, and the winter promised to
be bitter, so they could afford it.
"Nee, nee; there are enough Festivals in our religion already,"
grumbled her husband, who, despite his hacking cough, had been driven
to the work-table by the plentifulness of work and the scarcity of
"hands."
"Almost as big a goose as herself!" whispered Emanuel Lefkovitch to
his circle. He had made his peace with his wife, and was again become
the centre of the work-room's gaiety. "What a bargain!" he said aloud,
clucking his tongue with admiration. And Flutter-Duck, consoled for
her husband's criticism, scurried out again to have her bargain killed
by the official slaughterer.
When she returned, doleful and indignant, with the goose still in her
basket, and the news that the functionary had refused it Jewish
execution, and pronounced it _tripha_ (unclean) for some minute ritual
reason, she broke off her denunciation of the vendor from a sudden
perception that some graver misfortune had happened in her absence.
"Nee, nee," said Lewis, when she stopped her chatter. "Decidedly God
will not have us make Festival to-day. Even you must work."
"Me?" gasped Flutter-Duck.
Then she learnt that Emanuel Lefkovitch, whom she had left so gay, had
been taken with acute pains--and had had to go home. And work pressed,
and Flutter-Duck must under-study him in all her spare moments. She
was terribly vexed--she had arranged to go and see an old crony's
daughter married in the Synagogue that afternoon, and she would have
to give that up, if indeed her husband did not even expect her to give
up the ball in the evening. She temporarily tethered the goose's leg
to a bed-post by a long string, so that for the rest of the day the
big bird waddled pompously about the floor and under the bed,
unconscious to what or whom it owed its life, and blissfully unaware
that it was _tripha_.
"Nee, nee," sniggered Lewis, as Flutter-Duck savagely kicked the cat
out of her way. "Don't be alarmed, Rebbitzin won't attack it.
Rebbitzin is a better judge of _triphas_ than you."
It was another cat, but it was the same joke.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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