The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
And when she was quite dressed for the wedding, and had put on the
earrings with the coloured stones and the crowning glory of the
chignon of false plaits, stuck over with little artificial white
flowers, the female neighbours came crowding into the work-room
boudoir to see how she looked, and she revolved silently for their
inspection like a dressmaker's figure, at most acknowledging their
compliments with monosyllables. She had invited them to come and
admire her appearance, but by the time they came she had grown too
proud to speak to them. Even the women of whose finery she wore
fragments, and who had contributed to her splendour, seemed to her
poor dingy creatures, whose contact would sully her embroidered
petticoat. In grotesque contrast with her peacock-like stateliness,
the big _tripha_ goose began to get lively, cackling and flapping
about within its radius, as if the soul of Flutter-Duck had passed
into its body.
The moment of departure had come. The cab stood at the street-door,
and a composite crowd stood round the cab. In the Ghetto a cab has
special significance, and Flutter-Duck would have to pass to hers
through an avenue of polyglot commentators. At the last moment,
adjusting her fleecy wrap over her head like any _grande dame_ (from
whom she differed only in the modesty of her high bodice and her full
sleeves), Flutter-Duck discovered that there was a great rent in one
part of the wrap and a great stain in another. She uttered an
exclamation of dismay--this seemed to her the climax of the day's
misfortunes.
"What shall I do? What shall I do?" she cried, her dignity almost
melting in tears.
The by-standers made sympathetic but profitless noises.
"Oh, double it another way," jerked Rachel from the work-table. "Come
here, I'll do it for you."
"Are you too lazy to come here?" replied Flutter-Duck irritably.
Rachel rose and went towards her, and rearranged the wrap.
"Oh no, that won't do," complained Flutter-Duck, attitudinising before
the glass. "It shows as bad as ever. Oh, what shall I do?"
"Do you know what I'll tell you?" said her husband meditatively:
"Don't go!"
Flutter-Duck threw him a fiery look.
"Oh well," said Rachel, shrugging her shoulders and thrusting forward
her lip contemptuously, "it'll have to do."
"No, it won't--lend me your pink one."
"I'm not going to have my pink one dirtied, too," grumbled Rachel.
"Do you hear what I say?" exclaimed Flutter-Duck, with increasing
wrath. "Give me the pink wrap! When the mother says is said!" And she
looked around the group of spectators, in search of sympathy with her
trials and admiration for her maternal dignity.
"I can never keep anything for myself," said Rachel sullenly. "You
never take care of anything."
"I took care of you," screamed Flutter-Duck, goaded beyond endurance
by the thought that her neighbours were witnessing this filial
disrespect. "And a fat lot of good it's done me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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