The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Joseph thought it best to kiss Mrs. Grobstock.
[Illustration: "THOUGHT IT BEST TO KISS MRS. GROBSTOCK."]
"A fellow-Director, I suppose?" she urged, more mildly.
"A fellow-Israelite. He has promised to come at six."
Manasseh was punctual to the second. Wilkinson ushered him in. The
hostess had robed herself in her best to do honour to a situation
which her husband awaited with what hope he could. She looked radiant
in a gown of blue silk; her hair was done in a tuft and round her neck
was an "esclavage," consisting of festoons of gold chains. The Sabbath
table was equally festive with its ponderous silver candelabra,
coffee-urn, and consecration cup, its flower-vases, and fruit-salvers.
The dining-room itself was a handsome apartment; its buffets glittered
with Venetian glass and Dresden porcelain, and here and there gilt
pedestals supported globes of gold and silver fish.
At the first glance at his guest Grobstock's blood ran cold.
Manasseh had not turned a hair, nor changed a single garment. At the
next glance Grobstock's blood boiled. A second figure loomed in
Manasseh's wake--a short _Schnorrer_, even dingier than da Costa, and
with none of his dignity, a clumsy, stooping _Schnorrer_, with a
cajoling grin on his mud-coloured, hairy face. Neither removed his
headgear.
Mrs. Grobstock remained glued to her chair in astonishment.
"Peace be unto you," said the King of _Schnorrers_, "I have brought
with me my friend Yankelé ben Yitzchok of whom I told you."
Yankelé nodded, grinning harder than ever.
"You never told me he was coming," Grobstock rejoined, with an
apoplectic air.
"Did I not tell you that he always supped with me on Friday evenings?"
Manasseh reminded him quietly. "It is so good of him to accompany me
even here--he will make the necessary third at grace."
The host took a frantic surreptitious glance at his wife. It was
evident that her brain was in a whirl, the evidence of her senses
conflicting with vague doubts of the possibilities of Spanish
grandeeism and with a lingering belief in her husband's sanity.
Grobstock resolved to snatch the benefit of her doubts. "My dear,"
said he, "this is Mr. da Costa."
"Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo da Costa," said the _Schnorrer_.
The dame seemed a whit startled and impressed. She bowed, but words of
welcome were still congealed in her throat.
"And this is Yankelé ben Yitzchok," added Manasseh. "A poor friend of
mine. I do not doubt, Mrs. Grobstock, that as a pious woman, the
daughter of Moses Bernberg (his memory for a blessing), you prefer
grace with three."
[Illustration: "'AND THIS IS YANKELÉ BEN YITZCHOK,' ADDED MANASSEH."]
"Any friend of yours is welcome!" She found her lips murmuring the
conventional phrase without being able to check their output.
"I never doubted that either," said Manasseh gracefully. "Is not the
hospitality of Moses Bernberg's beautiful daughter a proverb?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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