The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
The Rabbi's fondness for concrete exemplification of abstract ideas
was not, however, to be stifled, and there was one illustration of
Charity which found a place in all the five sermons of consolation.
"If you have a pair of old breeches, send them to the Rabbi."
Rabbi Remorse Red-herring was, however, as is the way of preachers,
himself aught but a concrete exemplification of the virtues he
inculcated. He lived generously--through other people's
generosity--but no one could boast of having received a farthing from
him over and above what was due to them; while _Schnorrers_ (who
deemed considerable sums due to them) regarded him in the light of a
defalcating bankrupt. He, for his part, had a countervailing grudge
against the world, fancying the work he did for it but feebly
remunerated. "I get so little," ran his bitter plaint, "that I
couldn't live, _if it were not for the fasts_." And, indeed, the fasts
of the religion were worth much more to him than to Yankelé; his meals
were so profuse that his savings from this source were quite a little
revenue. As Yankelé had pointed out, he was married. And his wife had
given him a child, but it died at the age of seven, bequeathing to him
the only poignant sorrow of his life. He was too jealous to call in a
rival consolation preacher during those dark days, and none of his own
five sermons seemed to fit the case. It was some months before he took
his meals regularly.
At no time had anyone else taken meals in his house, except by law
entitled. Though she had only two to cook for, his wife habitually
provided for three, counting her husband no mere unit. Herself she
reckoned as a half.
It was with intelligible perturbation, therefore, that Yankelé,
dressed in some other man's best, approached the house of Rabbi
Remorse Red-herring about a quarter of an hour before the Sabbath
mid-day meal, intent on sharing it with him.
"No dinner, no marriage!" was da Costa's stern ukase.
What wonder if the inaccessible meal took upon itself the grandiosity
of a wedding feast! Deborah da Costa's lovely face tantalised him like
a mirage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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