The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
Disgusted with the meanness of mankind, da Costa's genius devised more
drastic measures. Having carefully locked up the proceeds of Sunday's
operations, and, indeed, nearly all his loose cash, in his safe, for,
to avoid being put to expense, he rarely carried money on his person,
unless he gathered it _en route_, he took his way to Bishopsgate
Within, to catch the stage for Clapton. The day was bright, and he
hummed a festive Synagogue tune as he plodded leisurely with his stick
along the bustling, narrow pavements, bordered by costers' barrows at
one edge, and by jagged houses, overhung by grotesque signboards, at
the other, and thronged by cits in worsted hose.
But when he arrived at the inn he found the coach had started. Nothing
concerned, he ordered a post-chaise in a supercilious manner,
criticising the horses, and drove to Clapton in style, drawn by a pair
of spanking steeds, to the music of the postillion's horn. Very soon
they drew out of the blocked roads, with their lumbering procession of
carts, coaches, and chairs, and into open country, green with the
fresh verdure of the spring. The chaise stopped at "The Red Cottage,"
a pretty villa, whose façade was covered with Virginian creeper that
blushed in the autumn. Manasseh was surprised at the taste with which
the lawn was laid out in the Italian style, with grottoes and marble
figures. The householder, hearing the windings of the horn, conceived
himself visited by a person of quality, and sent a message that he was
in the hands of his hairdresser, but would be down in less than half
an hour. This was of a piece with Manasseh's information concerning
the man--a certain Belasco, emulous of the great fops, an amateur of
satin waistcoats and novel shoestrings, and even said to affect a
spying-glass when he showed at Vauxhall. Manasseh had never seen him,
not having troubled to go so far afield, but from the handsome
appurtenances of the hall and the staircase he augured the best. The
apartments were even more to his liking; they were oak panelled, and
crammed with the most expensive objects of art and luxury. The walls
of the drawing-room were frescoed, and from the ceiling depended a
brilliant lustre, with seven spouts for illumination.
Having sufficiently examined the furniture, Manasseh grew weary of
waiting, and betook himself to Belasco's bedchamber.
"You will excuse me, Mr. Belasco," he said, as he entered through the
half open door, "but my business is urgent."
The young dandy, who was seated before a mirror, did not look up, but
replied, "Have a care, sir, you well nigh startled my hairdresser."
"Far be it from me to willingly discompose an artist," replied
Manasseh drily, "though from the elegance of the design, I venture to
think my interruption will not make a hair's-breadth of difference.
But I come on a matter which the son of Benjamin Belasco will hardly
deny is more pressing than his toilette."
"Nay, nay, sir, what can be more momentous?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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