The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
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The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Rejoice, O young man, in your strength," went on the Beggar, "but a
day will come when only the corpse-watchers will perform your
toilette. In plain white they will dress you, and the devil shall
never know what a dandy you were."
"But who are you, that I should give you money for the Synagogue?"
asked the Beau sullenly. "Where are your credentials?"
"Was it to insult me that you called me back? Do I look a knave? Nay,
put up your purse. I'll have none of your filthy gold. Let me go."
Gradually Manasseh was won round to accepting ten sovereigns.
"For your father's sake," he said, pocketing them. "The only thing I
will take for your sake is the cost of my conveyance. I had to post
hither, and the Synagogue must not be the loser."
Beau Belasco gladly added the extra money, and reseated himself before
the mirror, with agreeable sensations in his neglected conscience.
"You see," he observed, half apologetically, for Manasseh still
lingered, "one cannot do everything. To be a prince of dandies, one
needs all one's time." He waved his hand comprehensively around the
walls which were lined with wardrobes. "My buckskin breeches were the
result of nine separate measurings. Do you note how they fit?"
"They scarcely do justice to your eminent reputation," replied
Manasseh candidly.
Beau Belasco's face became whiter than even at the thought of
earthquakes and devils. "They fit me to bursting!" he breathed.
"But are they in the pink of fashion?" queried Manasseh. "And
assuredly the nankeen pantaloons yonder I recollect to have seen worn
last year."
"My tailor said they were of a special cut--'tis a shape I am
introducing, baggy--to go with frilled shirts."
Manasseh shook his head sceptically, whereupon the Beau besought him
to go through his wardrobe, and set aside anything that lacked
originality or extreme fashionableness. After considerable reluctance
Manasseh consented, and set aside a few cravats, shirts, periwigs, and
suits from the immense collection.
"Aha! That is all you can find," said the Beau gleefully.
"Yes, that is all," said Manasseh sadly. "All I can find that does any
justice to your fame. These speak the man of polish and invention; the
rest are but tawdry frippery. Anybody might wear them."
"Anybody!" gasped the poor Beau, stricken to the soul.
"Yes, I might wear them myself."
"Thank you! Thank you! You are an honest man. I love true criticism,
when the critic has nothing to gain. I am delighted you called. These
rags shall go to my valet."
"Nay, why waste them on the heathen?" asked Manasseh, struck with a
sudden thought. "Let me dispose of them for the benefit of the
Synagogue."
"If it would not be troubling you too much!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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