The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Is there anything I would not do for Heaven?" said Manasseh with a
patronising air. He threw open the door of the adjoining piece
suddenly, disclosing the scowling valet on his knees. "Take these
down, my man," he said quietly, and the valet was only too glad to
hide his confusion at being caught eavesdropping by hastening down to
the drive with an armful of satin waistcoats.
[Illustration: "THE SCOWLING VALET ON HIS KNEES."]
Manasseh, getting together the remainder, shook his head despairingly.
"I shall never get these into the post-chaise," he said. "You will
have to lend me your carriage."
"Can't you come back for them?" said the Beau feebly.
"Why waste the Synagogue's money on hired vehicles? No, if you will
crown your kindness by sending the footman along with me to help me
unpack them, you shall have your equipage back in an hour or two."
So the carriage and pair were brought out, and Manasseh, pressing into
his service the coachman, the valet, and the footman, superintended
the packing of the bulk of Beau Belasco's wardrobe into the two
vehicles. Then he took his seat in the carriage, the coachman and the
gorgeous powdered footman got into their places, and with a joyous
fanfaronade on the horn, the procession set off, Manasseh bowing
graciously to the master of "The Red House," who was waving his
beruffled hand from a window embowered in greenery. After a pleasant
drive, the vehicles halted at the house, guarded by stone lions, in
which dwelt Nathaniel Furtado, the wealthy private dealer, who
willingly gave fifteen pounds for the buck's belaced and embroidered
vestments, besides being inveigled into a donation of a guinea towards
the Synagogue's bad debt. Manasseh thereupon dismissed the chaise with
a handsome gratuity, and drove in state in the now-empty carriage,
attended by the powdered footman, to Finsbury Circus, to the mansion
of Rodriques. "I have come for my ten pounds," he said, and reminded
him of his promise (?). Rodriques laughed, and swore, and laughed
again, and swore that the carriage was hired, to be paid for out of
the ten pounds.
[Illustration: "DROVE IN STATE."]
"Hired?" echoed Manasseh resentfully. "Do you not recognise the arms
of my friend, Beau Belasco?" And he presently drove off with the note,
for Rodriques had a roguish eye. And then, parting with the chariot,
the King took his way on foot to Fenchurch Street, to the house of his
cousin Barzillai, the ex-planter of Barbadoes, and now a West Indian
merchant.
Barzillai, fearing humiliation before his clerks, always carried his
relative off to the neighbouring Franco's Head Tavern, and humoured
him with costly liquors.
"But you had no right to donate money you did not possess; it was
dishonest," he cried with irrepressible ire.
"Hoity toity!" said Manasseh, setting down his glass so vehemently
that the stem shivered. "And were you not called to the Law after me?
And did you not donate money?"
"Certainly! But I _had_ the money."
"What! _With_ you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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