"Oh," said Carroll, crestfallen. "Then Kingallis gives me some old
outdated volumes of books to play with, as a willful child is directed
to cut old rags instead of the lace curtains. Since I must play games,
by all means give me games that will harm no one!
"Mumbletypeg labeled 'dangerous' and celluloid toys made up to
resemble fierce knives on the theory that children prefer such toys
of the block and rattle nature. Bottles full of colored sand with
skull-and-crossbones on them and directions against certain mixtures.
"The amusement-park roller coaster that seems dangerous--in fact
someone knows someone who knows of a bad accident on it--but is, in
fact, less dangerous than a ride in an automobile through traffic."
Rhinegallis was silent.
"Then what am I to do?" he stormed. "I have no one here of my own kind.
Not a single understanding soul to lean upon in a moment of stress. A
man alone in an inimical environment--and I am expected to play your
tricks for you!"
"You--"
"Am I expected to aid you?"
"No," she said honestly. "Yet in deference to your--"
"Deference!" he laughed scornfully. "Deference? No, Rhinegallis, not
deference nor even respect. I am the experimental dog that must be
pampered because my life and my mind and my body must be studied. Not
deference, Rhinegallis, but the deadly fear of a spreading poison.
Isolation."
"I am afraid that I should not have come," she said--but it was more a
spoken thought than an attempt to convey anything.
"Then you tell Kingallis that no man will strive forever with no
result. The donkey must once in a while get a taste of the carrot."
"What do you want?" she asked softly.
"And if I tell you will I get the truth--or just more runaround?" he
asked.
"You are too suspicious," she said softly. "Deference you may not have,
really. But you do have respect."
"What manner of respect can you possibly have for me?" he said with an
open sneer.
"You are a strong man," replied Rhinegallis. "Your strength is
sufficient to penetrate the mental beam. To defy King's attempts to
study you, bar my tries at following your reason. Kingallis can point
the remote hypnosis beam at me and from it can read my innermost
thought.
"Against all resistance the hypnoscope is best--except against James
Forrest Carroll. You, Carroll, resent this studying and prying.
Know--and feel gratified--that as little as you have learned from my
brother he knows less of you!"
"And after defying all to completion the defiance is obliterated,"
replied Carroll bitterly. "For me--oblivion. For mine--what?"
"It need not be--loneliness," she said in a soft voice.
"Joy in the shadow of the sword?" he said sourly. "Pleasures of the
flesh with an alien race that would not even understand my passionate
gesture?"
He laughed shortly and roughly.
"Affection is but a prelude to understanding between mates. Tell me,"
he said with extreme cynicism, "have you laid your egg this year?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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