The Knickerbocker, Vol. 10, No. 3, September 1837 — John Shaqi
The Knickerbocker, Vol. 10, No. 3, September 1837Various
History
The Knickerbocker, Vol. 10, No. 3, September 1837
Various
Periodicals
'WEAK and irresolute is man.' I record a fault of human nature, as
well as my own. I resolved and re-resolved, and am the same. Do I
not blush while recording this weakness? Alas! I am dead to feeling,
as it regards my fellows. I have no communion with the world, now. I
pass by, unnoticed and unknown. Still, I have a love for mankind; and
I make these confessions, hoping they may prove of use to others. I
daily see others in the same predicament as myself, or, if not so far
advanced, yet pursuing a course which will inevitably lead them where
I now am. Yes! where I am; and what is that state? Solitariness,
apathy, disgust, fretfulness, heart-ache; the absence of all the
gentle sympathies of life; the death of all domestic affection; the
familiarity of the vulgar and low-bred; the sneer of the foolish
prosperous man; the contempt of the small thriving gleaner; the
neglect of the busy, and the pity of the good. Oh! yes! one comfort
yet remains; the prayers of the pious and truly religious.
But to my story. As hope began to fade from the heart of my dear
Alice; as she saw I was beyond the influence of her prayers and
entreaties; as she began to be acquainted with the real state of my
habits; as she began to see, that not even my love for her availed
any thing she began to despair. She had involved herself too deeply
to retract. Her feelings had acquired the habit of loving me; and
indeed, though an idle young man, I do not think it strange that such
devotion and tenderness as I sometimes really felt and bestowed upon
her, should have awakened some return.
I was well-bred, had a good person, could sing passably well,
by myself, write good poetry, and was passionate and hot in my
evidences of affection. I was an enthusiast, and women like decided
tastes. They feel an assurance, a confidence in your good, quiet,
smooth-faced, unexcitable, sensible man, if he be young, especially;
but they love life and animation, even though it lead to slight
errors. Women know the difficulty of restraining the feelings within
the bounds of propriety; they are most open to impressions; the
real creatures of feeling, they love feeling in others. They have
many struggles with what they wish, and what they ought to do. They
estimate in men the ardor of the temptation, as an offset to the
fault. Hence they are forgiving.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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