At Sea. My dear Miss Daly,-I cannot thank you enough for your letter,
so full of kindness, of encouragement, and of hope. How much I stand
in need of them! I have strictly followed every portion of your
counsel,--would that I could tell you as successfully as implicitly!
The address of this letter will, however, be the shortest reply to that
question. I write these lines from the “Hermione” frigate. Yes, I am a
volunteer in the expedition to the Mediterranean; and only think who is
my commanding officer,--the Knight himself. I had enrolled myself
under the name of Conway; but when called up on deck this morning for
inspection, such was my surprise on seeing the Knight of Gwynne, or, as
he is now called, Colonel Darcy, I almost betrayed myself. Fortunately,
however, I escaped unnoticed,--a circumstance I believe I owe chiefly to
the fact that several young men of family are also volunteers, so that
my position attracted no unusual attention. It was a most anxious moment
for me as the colonel came down the line, addressing a word here and
there as he went; he stopped within one of me, and spoke for some
seconds to a young fellow whose appearance indicated delicate health.
How full of gentleness and benevolence were his words! But when he
turned and fixed his eyes on me, my heart beat so quick, my head grew
so dizzy, I thought I should have fainted. He remained at least half a
minute in front of me, and then asked the orderly for my name--“Conway!
Conway!” repeated he more than once. “A very old name. I hope you'll do
it credit, sir,” added he, and moved on,--how much to my relief I need
not say. What a strange rencontre! Often as I wonder at the singular
necessity that has made me a private soldier, all my astonishment is
lost in thinking of the Knight of Gwynne's presence amongst us; and yet
he looks the soldier even as much as he did the country gentleman when
I first saw him, and, strangely too, seems younger and more active than
before. To see him here, chatting with the officers under his command,
moving about, taking interest in everything that goes on, who would
suspect the change of fortune that has befallen him! Not a vestige
of discontent, not even a passing look of impatience on his handsome
features; and yet, with this example before me, and the consciousness
that my altered condition is nothing in comparison with his, I am
low-spirited and void of hope! But a few weeks ago I would have thought
myself the luckiest fellow breathing, if told that I were to serve
under Colonel Darcy, and now I feel ashamed and abashed, and dread a
recognition every time I see him. In good truth, I cannot forget the
presumption that led me first to his acquaintance. My mind dwells on
that unhappy mission to the West, and its consequences. My foolish
vanity in supposing that I, a mere boy, uninformed, and without
reflection, should be able to influence a man so much my superior in
every way! and this, bad as it is, is the most favorable view of my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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