The Ladies' Vase; Or, Polite Manual for Young LadiesAmerican lady
Religion
The Ladies' Vase; Or, Polite Manual for Young Ladies
American lady
Etiquette for women; Young women -- Conduct of life
There is an egotism, of which we must speak more seriously. Faults, that
in the world we laugh at, when they attain the dignity and purity of
sacred things, become matter of serious regret. I speak nothing further
of the ostentatious display of pious and benevolent exertion. We live at
a time when religion, its deepest and dearest interests, have become a
subject of general conversation. We would have it so; but we mark, with
regret, that self has introduced itself here. The heartless
loquacity--we must say heartless, for, in a matter of such deep
interest, facility of speech bespeaks the feelings light--the
unshrinking jabber with which people tell you their soul's
history--their past impressions and present difficulties--their
doctrines and their doubts--their manifestations and their
experiences--not in the ear of confidence, to have those doubts removed
and those doctrines verified; not in the ear of anxious inquiry, to
communicate knowledge and give encouragement, but any where, in any
company, and to any body who will listen, the _I_ felt--_I_ thought--_I_
experienced. Sorrows that, if real, should blanch the cheek to think
upon; mercies that enwrap all hearers in amazement, they will tell as
unconcernedly as the adventures of the morning. The voice falters not;
the color changes not; the eye moistens not. And to what purpose all
this personality? To get good, or do good? By no means; but that,
whatever subject they look upon, they always see themselves in the
foreground of the picture, with every minute particular swelled into
importance, while all besides is merged in indistinctness.
We may be assured there is nothing so ill-bred, so annoying, so little
entertaining, so absolutely impertinent, as this habit of talking always
with reference to ourselves; for every body has a self of their own, to
which they attach as much importance as we to ours, and see all others'
matters small in the comparison. The lady of rank has her castles and
her ancestors--they are the foreground of her picture. There they stood
when she came into being; and there they are still, in all the magnitude
of near perspective; and, if her estimate of their real size be not
corrected by experience and good sense, she expects that others will see
them as large as she does. But that will not be so. The lady of wealth
has gotten her houses and lands in the foreground. These are the larger
features in her landscape; titles and the castles are seen at a smaller
angle. Neither lady will admire the proportions of her neighbor's
drawing, should they chance to discover themselves in each other's
conversation. She, again--whether rich or poor--whose world is her own
domesticity, sees nothing so prominent as the affairs of her nursery or
her household; and perceives not that, in the eyes of others, her
children are a set of diminutives, undistinguishable in the mass of
humanity, in which that they ever existed, or that they cease to exist,
is matter of equal indifference.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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