Ah, if Gavin lived! How often by the way did that voice of doubt cry
the question in her ears? As a heavy cloud upon the garden of her
hopes so the thought recurred and would not be put away. If Gavin
lived! Evelyn heard the words wherever she turned; they were spoken to
her upon the breezes of that winter day, rolled out by the humming
wheels as the train carried her northward, uttered by unknown voices
which compelled her to listen. They followed her to Moretown; they
were with her when she dismissed the hired carriage at the gates of
Melbourne Hall and set out to walk across the park toward her home.
Her desire to enter the house without observation or effusive welcome
was in great part the fruit of her thoughts. She must be alone; she
must have the full command of herself before she told her father the
true story of yesternight.
The sun had set upon a glorious winter's day; a day of clear skies and
bright scenes and fresh invigorating breezes. Now when eve fell the
west wind ebbed away with the hours and left a twilight deeply still
and beautiful. Not a branch of the leafless trees stirred in all that
vast park about Melbourne Hall. Wide vistas of glade and avenue might
have known no human foot since their story began. The deer browsed or
moved with step so light that the quickest ear could not detect it. To
Evelyn it mattered not whether she trod the park at dawn or dusk.
Every landmark seemed as her own possession. Here was the dell
wherein, long ago, she had played Di Vernon's part to the summer skies;
there, the arbor to which she had carried the romances upon which her
young imagination feasted. Far away, dark and gray between the trees,
stood her home, offering her so chill a welcome that her heart sank
wearily and tears came to her burning eyes. How if her father also had
left her; if she found the great house empty and the gates of it shut!
Such an end to her journey was not impossible; but the dread of it was
in itself a heavy sorrow.
To be alone even at the gates of her home. Yes, it might be that.
Standing upon the little bridge that spanned the river; she listened to
its melancholy song and echoed it in her heart. Alone, it said--the
dream lived, love lost, the world empty. What mattered it now that
God's providence had saved her yesternight? Better, she thought in her
distress, that she lay in yonder silent pool, drifting upon the slow
eddies to rest and oblivion. For what had the world to give her? The
tears flowed fast at the remembrance of all she had hoped, all she had
suffered, all she had lost. "Gavin," she cried aloud, "save me, Gavin,
for I cannot live alone."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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