The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection — John Shaqi
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
The second mate hum’d and ha’d, but Bill was afeard to go any ’igher.
So far as ’e could make out from Jimmy, the mattress was worth about
eighteen pence—to anybody who wasn’t pertiklar.
“I’ve slept on that mattress for years,” says the second mate, looking
at ’im from the corner of ’is eye. “I don’t believe I could sleep on
another. Still, to oblige you, Bill, you shall ’ave it at that if you
don’t want it till we go ashore?”
“Thankee, sir,” says Bill, ’ardly able to keep from dancing, “and I’ll
’and over the two pounds when we’re paid off. I shall keep it all my
life, sir, in memory of you and your kindness.”
“And mind you keep quiet about it,” says the second mate, who didn’t
want the skipper to know wot ’e’d been doing, “because I don’t want to
be bothered by other men wanting to buy things as keepsakes.”
Bill promised ’im like a shot, and when ’e told me about it ’e was
nearly crying with joy.
“And mind,” ’e says, “I’ve bought that mattress, bought it as it
stands, and it’s got nothing to do with Jimmy. We’ll each pay a pound
and halve wot’s in it.”
He persuaded me at last, but that boy watched us like a cat watching a
couple of canaries, and I could see we should ’ave all we could do to
deceive ’_im_. He seemed more suspicious o’ Bill than me, and ’e kep’
worrying us nearly every day to know what we were going to do.
We beat about in the channel with a strong ’ead-wind for four days, and
then a tug picked us up and towed us to London.
The excitement of that last little bit was ’orrible. Fust of all we ’ad
got to get the mattress, and then in some way we ’ad got to get rid o’
Jimmy. Bill’s idea was for me to take ’im ashore with me and tell ’im
that Bill would join us arterwards, and then lose ’im; but I said that
till I’d got my share I couldn’t bear to lose sight o’ Bill’s honest
face for ’alf a second.
And, besides, Jimmy wouldn’t ’ave gone.
All the way up the river ’e stuck to Bill, and kept asking ’im wot we
were to do. ’E was ’alf crying, and so excited that Bill was afraid the
other chaps would notice it.
We got to our berth in the East India Docks at last, and arter we were
made fast we went below to ’ave a wash and change into our shoregoing
togs. Jimmy watched us all the time, and then ’e comes up to Bill
biting ’is nails, and says:
“How’s it to be done, Bill?”
“Hang about arter the rest ’ave gone ashore, and trust to luck,” says
Bill, looking at me. “We’ll see ’ow the land lays when we draw our
advance.”
We went down aft to draw ten shillings each to go ashore with. Bill and
me got ours fust, and then the second mate who ’ad tipped ’im the wink
followed us out unconcerned-like and ’anded Bill the mattress rolled up
in a sack.
“’Ere you are, Bill,” ’e says.
“Much obliged, sir,” says Bill, and ’is ’ands trembled so as ’e could
’ardly ’old it, and ’e made to go off afore Jimmy come on deck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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