The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
The mate shook him off, and went in with a splash which half drowned
his adviser. Miss Harris, clasping her hands, ran to the side and gazed
fearfully at the spot where he had disappeared, while his sister in a
terrible voice seized the opportunity to point out to her husband the
probably fatal results of his ill-doing. There was an anxious interval,
and then the mate’s head appeared above the water, and after a
breathing-space disappeared again. The skipper, watching uneasily,
stood by with a lifebelt.
“Come out, Ted,” screamed his sister as he came up for breath again.
The mate disappeared once more, but coming up for the third time, hung
on to the side of the barge to recover a bit. A clothed man in the
water savours of disaster and looks alarming. Miss Harris began to cry.
“You’ll be drowned,” she whimpered.
“Come out,” said Mrs. Gibbs, in a raspy voice. She knelt on the deck
and twined her fingers in his hair. The mate addressed her in terms
rendered brotherly by pain.
“Never mind about the purse,” sobbed Miss Harris; “it doesn’t matter.”
“Will you make it up if I come out, then,” demanded the diver.
“No; I’ll never speak to you again as long as I live,” said the girl,
passionately.
The mate disappeared again. This time he was out of sight longer than
usual, and when he came up merely tossed his arms weakly and went down
again. There was a scream from the women, and a mighty splash as the
skipper went overboard with a life-belt. The mate’s head, black and
shining, showed for a moment; the skipper grabbed him by the hair and
towed him to the barge’s side, and in the midst of a considerable
hubbub both men were drawn from the water.
The skipper shook himself like a dog, but the mate lay on the deck
inert in a puddle of water. Mrs. Gibbs frantically slapped his hands;
and Miss Harris, bending over him, rendered first aid by kissing him
wildly.
Captain Gibbs pushed her away. “He won’t come round while you’re
a-kissing of him,” he cried, roughly.
To his indignant surprise the drowned man opened one eye and winked
acquiescence. The skipper dropped his arms by his side and stared at
him stupidly.
“I saw his eyelid twitch,” cried Mrs. Gibbs, joyfully.
“He’s all right,” said her indignant husband; “’e ain’t born to be
drowned, ’e ain’t. I’ve spoilt a good suit of clothes for nothing.”
To his wife’s amazement, he actually walked away from the insensible
man, and with a boathook reached for his hat, which was floating by.
Mrs. Gibbs, still gazing in blank astonishment, caught a seraphic smile
on the face of her brother as Miss Harris continued her ministrations,
and in a pardonable fit of temper the overwrought woman gave him a box
on the ear, which brought him round at once.
“Where am I?” he inquired, artlessly.
Mrs. Gibbs told him. She also told him her opinion of him, and without
plagiarizing her husband’s words, came to the same conclusion as to his
ultimate fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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