Perhaps it was all very beneficial to him. No doubt it was too much
his way to _affect_ a good-humoured tolerance of destiny; to repudiate
responsibility, in speech or act, on the strength of a certain genial
creed of fatality that assumed itself independent of the laws of
obligation. To have that much of the vagabond in one, that one moves
serenely indifferent to conventional restrictions, is excellent; but
to insist upon one’s vagabondage is to be a didactic vagabond; and
that is intolerable. For it is to assume that orthodox folk must
accept vagabondage as the superior condition, which, being orthodox,
they cannot.
Therefore it was that, upon the morning following his visit to the
theatre, our gentleman started--as he had obstinately resolved he
would do--upon his homeward journey, quite truculent with a sense of
grievance.
There was little in the prospect about him that served to otherwise
than confirm his depression. Winter, it was evident, was asserting
itself with a despotic and merciless rigour that was deaf to all
considerations of humanity. The sleet of the previous night had frozen
into and made long icy crevasses of the road-ruts; the throat of the
wind was hoarse with cold; the grey of utter lifelessness stretched
from earth to sky--a grey that no fury of the stiff blast could rend
or discompose.
Each hour linked itself to the next with a bolt of iron as, his teeth
set to the driving chill, he urged his long way forward. The road
clanked under him; the scarlet nostrils of his straining horse
palpitated like blown coals against a background of ashes. He did not
much care to think of anything but his own miserable discomfort; and
in that he took some hard satisfaction, as if by enduring it he were
shaming the callous soul who had bidden him away from his cosy
fireside in the “Adelphi.”
It was at this climax of his meditations that humour and hunger
ventured upon a little roguish assault on his epigastrium. Had the
attack failed, he had been other than the man of this history. It did
not, by any means. He sighed, drew himself up, twinkled over the
collapse of his pondered heroics, broke into a laugh, half-vexed,
half-jocund, and fairly plunged into that illuminating thought of the
æsthetic value of appetite to a free man.
“For I am free!” he cried to the winds--“and responsible in all the
world to nobody but myself!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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