At the very next wayside inn he dismounted and called boisterously for
food. Munching this, with a confident digestion, by a jolly fire, and
delighting in every purple bead of _Clos Vougeot_ that swam to his
glass rim, he would give his fancies, as the freeborn children of a
Bohemian, rein to run as they listed, and would even humour them to
the top bent of his inclination. Well, their order--or absence of
it--might be this: Position and respectability; a park, a
carriage-road, trim servants, nice-mannered children; a stake in the
county and a sober reputation to prop it; an admirable cold wife, in
whom an innate artificiality should be tuned to the musical pitch of
sentiment; on every side a thickset hedge of formality and
restriction, where-through one decent passage alone should be
pierced--the stone-flagged way to the tremendously enduring family
vault;--and at the last, the precise misrepresentation of a ruled
epitaph. Good! And now from the olive to the wine: Life--the life that
he understood and could rejoice in--away from the flint road and
spurring on to the downs; the life of heath and water and wood, of the
blown blue sky and the whirled pollen of flowers; of light and gloom,
risk and effort and reward; of the great breath of change and freedom,
and--ah! yes: of the sympathizing soft heart to be always waiting him
at the blossoming corner; the spirit to often share with him the
wanderings and the marvels, and to pull him down into the
sweet-smelling brake at shut of eve, and so for both to make a common
cause of dreams.
Which was the happier picture? And yet a very fragrant perfume would
cling about the presentment of that white gentle-born Angela; and
sometimes even now it would appear a profanation to him to hold her
cheaply in his thoughts.
He would not. If a certain shame-faced exultation over his latest
emancipation would stir oddly in him from time to time, he would not
so far abuse the trust his own heart had placed in a recent sentiment
as to set up a new idol in the niche of a fallen image. Angela might
be deposed; but--for the present at least--no other should usurp her
throne.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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