Indeed, for the moment he was a child again, and there is nothing in
after-life like the pure imaginings of such. To the child every
incident is a picture framed and hung upon a wall. The memory of these
pictures abides long, then fades a little and a little more. We are
hardly conscious of them in old age, or at least feel hardly the
ecstasy of their atmosphere. In acquiring our identities (Keats’s
phrase), what don’t we lose? We find a fact for a dream--a wretched
exchange. But the first possession doesn’t altogether go. It recurs to
us at odd moments in little sweet mental vertigoes--never so much,
perhaps, as during that half-waking hour of dawn when we are least
conscious of our material selves.
Then to think of a dewy morning down; of a pleached alley of
fruit-trees in blossom; of a windy common; of the mystery of snow and
brooding distances; of a Christmas-tree, even, and the mingled
ravishing smell of lighted tapers and banked fir-branches, is
momentarily to recall the amazing romance and illimitableness of life;
is to be quit of the dreariness of conviction, and to stand once more
at the foot of the green slope, and look up and wonder whither the
clouds are sailing over the far summit. A few artists, a few writers,
a few musicians, have the power, or the instinct, to inspire us with
these ancient imaginings; and such as can, we must dearly love, though
they may never stand in the front ranks of their fellows. The child is
the only real genius; and perhaps these have remained morally
children. In mid-life they can arrest and record the fugitive
retrospections that to the most of us are only bubbles broken away
from the far-distant spring of life, to be caught at and to vanish on
the prick of possession. God bless them! they are our best earnest of
the spiritual.
Out of his luminous stupor on that grassy borderland of dawn, the
dreamer came with a full heart, and, it must be confessed, a biting
consciousness of emptiness in his stomach.
He sprang out of bed, and bathed and dressed to the hissing
accompaniment of ostlers in the yard below and to the clank of
horse-hoofs on the cobble-stones.
He breakfasted, as men did in those days, as if he were victualling
for a siege, and had great thoughts of kissing the chambermaid when he
fee’d her--but refrained.
By half-past nine he was on the road, with a heart full of gaiety, and
a recurring wonder for his destination, and clattered under the old
west gateway of the town with a song on his lips--
She was throated like the stare--
Well-a-day!
She was white as buds of May--
Well-a-day!
And all with their sweet scent
Her bodie was besprent,
That to kiss her was a joy beyond compare,
If her mouth the scarlet hips--
Well-a-day!
Would for redness all dismay--
Well-a-day!
Ah! it took its comely stain
From the truths that she had slain;
For falser than the serpent were her lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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