Don't be too facetious, Sir Luke: it is not quite so safe to sport with the heads of the law; you don't know how soon you may have a little business together. Sir LUKE. But come, the Serjeant is sulky.--I have thought of a way to divert him:--You know he is never so happy as when he is hearing a cause; suppose we were to plead one before him; Mrs. Circuit and I to be counsel, the colonel the clerk, and Mrs. Simper the cryer. Mrs. CIRCUIT. The finest thought in the world! And stay, to conduct the trial with proper solemnity, let's rummage his wardrobe; we shall there be able to equip ourselves with suitable dresses. Sir LUKE. Alons, alons! Mrs. SIMPER. There is no time to be lost. [_All rise._ Mrs. CIRCUIT. [_Stopping short as they are going out._] But won't my husband be angry, if we leave him alone? Bye, dearee--we shall soon return to thee again. [_Exeunt._ _Enter Serj._ CIRCUIT, _not perceiving the collation_. SERJEANT. So, my lord not being able to sit, there was no occasion for me.--I can't put that girl's nonsense out of my head--My wife is young to be sure, and loves pleasure I own; but as to the _main_ article, I have not the least ground to suspect her in that--No, no!--And then Sir Luke! my _prosien ami_, the dearest friend I have in the--Heyday! [_seeing the collation_] What the deuce have we here?--A collation!--So, so--I see madam knows how to divert herself during my absence.--What's this? [_seeing the block_] Oh, ho! ha! ha! ha!--Well, that's pretty enough I protest.--Poor girl, I see she could not be happy without having something at table that resembled me.--How pleas'd she will be to find me here in propriâ personâ.--By your leave, Mrs. Circuit--[_sits down and eats_] Delicate eating, in troth--and the wine [_drinks_]--Champaign as I live--must have t'other glass--They little think how that gentleman there regales himself in their absence--Ha! ha! ha!--quite convenient, I vow--the heat of the weather has made me--Come, brother Coif, here's your health--[_drinks_]--I must pledge myself I believe--[_drinks again_]--devilish strong--pshut!--Somebody's coming--[_gets up and goes towards the wings_]--What do I see? Four lawyers! What the devil can be the meaning of this? I should be glad to get at the bottom of--Hey! By your leave, brother Serjeant--I must crave the use of your robe--[_sits down, and gets under the gown_]--Between ourselves, this is not the first time this gown has cover'd a fraud. _Enter Sir_ LUKE, _Colonel, Mrs._ CIRCUIT, _and Mrs._ SIMPER, _dressed as counsellors_. Sir LUKE. Come, come, gentlemen, dispatch, the court has been waiting some time. Brother Circuit, you have look'd over your brief? Mrs. CIRCUIT. What, do you suppose, Sir, that like some of our brethren I defer that till I come into court? No, no. Sir LUKE. This cause contains the whole marrow and pith of all modern practice. Mrs. CIRCUIT. One should think, Sir Luke, you had been bred to the bar. Sir LUKE.