The Lame Lover: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Lame Lover: A Comedy in Three ActsFoote, Samuel
General
The Lame Lover: A Comedy in Three Acts
Foote, Samuel
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century
Seiz'd upon when they can find them, but he lives in ready-furnish'd
lodgings, and hires his coach by the month.
SERJEANT.
Nay, if the sheriff return "non inventus"--
Sir LUKE.
A pox o' your law, you make me lose sight of my story. One morning,
a Welch coach-maker came with his bill to my Lord, whose name was
unluckily Loyd. My Lord had the man up. You are call'd, I think, Mr.
Loyd?--At your Lordship's service, my Lord.----What, Loyd with an
L?--It was with an L indeed, my Lord.--Because in your part of the
world I have heard that Loyd and Floyd were synonymous, the very same
names.--Very often indeed, my lord.--But you always spell your's with
an L?--Always.--That, Mr. Loyd, is a little unlucky; for you must know
I am now paying my debts alphabetically, and in four or five years you
might have come in with an F; but I am afraid I can give you no hopes
for your L.--Ha, ha, ha!
_Enter a_ SERVANT.
SERVANT.
There was no overtaking the servant.
Sir LUKE.
That is unlucky: tell my Lord I'll attend him.--I'll call on Sir
Gregory myself.
SERJEANT.
Why, you won't leave us, Sir Luke?
Sir LUKE.
Pardon, dear Serjeant and Charlotta; have a thousand things to do for
half a million of people positively; promised to procure a husband for
Lady Cicely Sulky, and match a coach-horse for Brigadier Whip; after
that, must run into the city to borrow a thousand for young At-all at
Almack's; send a Cheshire cheese by the stage to Sir Timothy Tankard in
Suffolk; and get at the Herald's Office a coat of arms to clap on the
coach of Billy Bengal, a nabob newly arriv'd: so you see I have not a
moment to lose.
SERJEANT.
True, true.
Sir LUKE.
At your toilet to-morrow at ten you may--
_Enter a_ SERVANT _abruptly, and runs against Sir_ LUKE.
Can't you see where you are running you, rascal!
SERVANT.
Sir, his grace the Duke of----
Sir LUKE.
Grace!--Where is he?--Where--
SERVANT.
In his coach at the door.--If you an't better engaged would be glad of
your company to go into the city, and take a dinner at Dolly's.
Sir LUKE.
In his own coach did you say?
SERVANT.
Yes, Sir.
Sir LUKE.
With the coronets--or--
SERVANT.
I believe so.
Sir LUKE.
There's no resisting of that.--Bid Joe run to Sir Gregory Goose's.
SERVANT.
He is already gone to alderman Inkle's.
Sir LUKE.
Then do you step to the Knight--hey!--no--you must go to my
Lord's--hold, hold, no--I have it--Step first to Sir Greg's, then pop
in at Lord Brentford's just as the company are going to dinner.
SERVANT.
What shall I say to Sir Gregory?
Sir LUKE.
Any thing--what I told you before.
SERVANT.
And what to my Lord?
Sir LUKE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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